Fine moments that bring us closer together
24th July, 2005
I was sitting in my room when Michael, my officer, entered and called me out for a talk. He told me I was chosen to represent our battery in an interview tomorrow by the Russian-Israeli television NTV. They'll interview our battery commander and a few other soldiers as well.
I called my family and friends and notified them about it.
25th July, 2005
The interview has been eventually cancelled.
I talked to Angel today. I missed her so much!
I told her about everything, including how I feel for her and about Natalie's demand that we stop communicating. She said I could either talk to her in secret, without letting Natalie know, or we could do as she says.
"If I don't be with Natalie in a year from now, would you want us to be together?" "Yes, I do."
No, I don't intend to break up with Natalie, I'm just considering all the possibilities here.
After this conversation I realized that I can't just walk away from Angel. Natalie didn't want to hear about it... "It's either me or her!" After a while we reached an agreement: I explained her of the situation, meaning I can't give Angel up unless I have a guarantee that we'll be together until the end. If we keep fighting like that and I leave Angel, I'll end up losing you both.
I told her she should go to northern Tel Aviv and meet those rich guys that Shachar was talking about, to find out what she really wants. I agreed to stop communication with Angel in case she agrees to go with it until the end.
29th July, 2005
Angel showed up online. I didn't talk to her. She didn't start talking to me either.
Meanwhile, my relationship with Natalie was improving...
1st August, 2005
Natalie doesn't feel anything for Amir anymore. Today he's coming over to her place for a few hours. She says she loves me very very much and promises that she would restrain herself around Amir.
Fine, let them meet...
The result is... They sat in her room for a while and chatted. There was one moment that their lips met, but then she thought of me and pushed him away. Afterwards, they visited the Azrieli towers. In a deserted corridor leading to the restrooms they stood, facing each other.
Amir: "Can I kiss you."
Natalie: "I don't know." (?!)
Amir: "Well... can I?"
She explained this by saying the she didn't want to upset him by saying "no". Instead, she leaned ahead and kissed him lightly on the lips, smiling. It seems she still has some feelings for him, but clearly less.
3rd August, 2005
She arrived to my place, meeting me downstairs. "Where's the warm hug that I so greatly deserve?" I hugged her from behind, kissing her cheeks, the sweet sensation, the smell of her hair, feelings that I can't really describe.
5th August, 2005
We agreed to meet at her place this morning at 10:30am, then take our bikes and travel around Tel Aviv, crossing the whole Ha-Yarkon park and proceeding down to the beach.
I was getting late. Arrived at 10:50am to her place, only to find out that she hadn't even woke up. It took her a looong time to get ready. Girls...
At 12:30pm we set out on a long journey. Riding the bycicle with her was a lot of fun. The windy weather and the beautiful park have only contributed to the wonderful atmosphere.
In the middle of the park there's a small lake where boats can be rented. It was a great idea of hers. We took a boat and spent an hour at the lake. The sun was setting. It was so quiet and peaceful.
"In 30 years from now, you'd come here to this very place and see that nothing here has changed. But at the same time, nothing would be the same as before. The leaves, falling from the trees would remind you of your youth, times that you cannot bring back, great times. You would shed a tear, wishing you could experience it all again. So enjoy it now as much as possible."
That wasn't very encouraging, but she remembered those words...
We proceeded to the beach heading far into the south, until we've reached the mall on Allenby st. next to the fountains. We went up to the top floor and ordered food in a restaurant-bar the name of which I couldn't qutie recall. The food was awful. It came in small quantities in contrast to its price.
On our way back home, we saw a lot of police cars patrolling around. Natalie said it's because of a high drug-sale activity in this area. She used to volunteer in the national guard a year ago, that's how she knows it. Her brother volunteers in the police.
She says he worked in Jaffo - a part of southern Tel Aviv, inhabited mostly by Israeli Arabs. I told her about the cops I met in roadblocks. She says her brother is no less racist than them. Great! Dad's a stalinist, mom's his executive dictator and her brother is a racist cop. Hmm... If I marry her one day, that will be my family? *chills* Poor Natalie... :(
6th August, 2005
My dad booked a room in the hotel "Sun" in Bat Yam for me and Natalie. We took a cab over there at 12pm. The hotel looked very nice.
I approached the reception desk and asked for the key registered on my name. The receptionist looked for it and didn't find any rooms booked on my name. I called my dad and he talked to the woman at the desk. It turns out he booked a room from a different receptionist who worked here yesterday. After 2 minutes of hearing him yelling at her, she opened a drawer and found it.
I pitied the woman. Judging by the look on her pale face, this call had ruined her day. :(
She gave me 2 keys - room 301 and 404, to choose which one would be more suitable for us. Room 512, which was originally booked for us has already been taken by someone else. It's alright, mistakes happen.
Room 301 faced the swimming pool and the sea. The other one faced a deserted tennis and soccer courts and a big pile of garbage, just outside the hotel.
We really had a great time together. We ate at a Japenese-Chinese restaurant. The food was great. This time the meal was big enough to feed 4 people and the price was the same.
The waiter that served us was a cute Russian 20+ girl who reminded me of Lena, my step-cousin. I gave her a relatively big tip - 20NIS. But that's not only because she was cute, I just didn't have any coins. =)
The swimming pool closed down at 7pm, so we went to the sea instead. The water wasn't cold. It looked like it was Natalie's first swimming experience. She seeked refuge in my arms with every incoming wave. She screamed often, but in overall I think she enjoyed swimming with me.
We layed down on the sand, watching the sun sink in the horizon, painting the sky in pink and red.
We kissed. She told me how much she enjoys spending time with me. She wanted to spend the night here with me, since we have to be checked out tomorrow morning, but her parents had forbid her.
The sun was setting down fast, as they were arguing and shouting over the phone. She hung up several times, unable to listen to her parents much longer. For the next 10 minutes she was crying and there was nothing I could to help. It was only later that I was able to comfort her and help her deal with whatever her parents had said.
Her mother wanted to speak to me. She said that she wants to see her daughter back home by 10pm, that I'm in charge and therefore I shouldn't surrender to Natalie's pleads, that our stay wasn't planned to extend until tomorrow morning and that we're not a married couple to do such things. (Are you kidding me? I have to be married in order to her to spend a night with her alone?!)
It would have been pointless arguing with her.
My dad picked us up at 9pm and brought us to her place. I'd been thinking about her on my way home.
I love her so much. It's been so great together...
7th August, 2005
We spent some time at my place. After her work, we'd met at the entrance to the mall in Givataim. I was late, but to my surprise she wasn't mad at me. It's usually easy to upset her.
We went to the cinema and watched "Sky high", it was an average movie. I walked her home and it was time for us to part. Tomorrow I'm back in the army again.
It was hard. She didn't want to get inside the elevator. I held her tight and when I started leaving, I saw her standing there with tears in her eyes. I couldn't go... I ran back and held her tighter, kissing her passionately. Tears were now all over our faces. It was getting even more difficult for us to part.
I had to let her go... for now.
She entered the elevator. The time slowed down... We were looking at each other as the door slowly closed down between us.
A single moment later I felt a wave of melancholy surge through my body. I felt pain in my chest. Why is it so hard to part? The thought of not seeing her again for 16 days... My eyes were becoming watery.
Natalie!!! I don't wanna fight with you anymore.
Is it always up to me? Can I control it?
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Friday, November 02, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Making the right choice? Only time will tell
18th July, 2005
As I was on my way north, I saw dozens of cars with orange stripes and a few with blue ones. The orange stripes signified support for Gaza strip settlers and the blue ones signified support for Ariel Sharon's plan to withdraw from the strip and evacuate the settlements.
It made me think how easy it is to start a civil war in a country - find a problem over which the nation has a commonly divided opinion and let the government take sides. If the issue is so important that people aren't willing to compromise over it, they would go as far as killing everyone who opposes them.
I doubt it would go that far in this case, though.
When I arrived to Kiryat Shmona, we had a 2-day trip of sorts. We were taken to kibbutz Dan where we attended a museum of stuffed animals and were shown a short movie about the history of the Houla valley. Afterwards, the minibus driver dropped us some 5km down the road. We had to walk all the way to the kibbutz of Maayan Baruh with our heavy bags in the heating sun. Nobody had any water with him.
At Maayan Baruh an old man gave us a tour around his museum of prehistory. He claimed that he possessed certain antique artifacts that could not be found anywhere else in the world. For example, he showed us bones of what he claims to be the oldest dog ever found on earth.
He showed me and my friend how to play an old game of stones. It's quite an interesting game actually, but it's hard to believe that prehistorical people used to play it back then.
By the evening we were back to the base.
19th July, 2005
We were taken to "Hagoshrim" where we sailed on kayaks down the river of Dan. Me and Daniel got ahead of everyone else, though nobody bothered competing with us. We were the first to finish the track, within 15 minutes. We just sat there and waited for the rest, but nobody came. An hour later they all arrived. Apparently, they took their time to enjoy kayaking and drowning each other in the water. Hmm.. well, we had fun too.
As we were waiting for the rest of the guys to join us, a group of American tourists have arrived. They finished sailing and got off the boat as one of the resort's workers pulled it up and loaded it onto the truck. Another boat carried an Israeli family. One of them was a young girl with a tight, pink bikini. Within less than a minute I could hear the workers behind me start talking about her. I'd have settled for a "look at that girl, isn't she pretty?" but what they've said quite disgusted me. I imagine how unpleasant it'd be if I hear someone talk that way about Natalie. They said: "Wouldn't you want her to s**k your ****?"
21st July, 2005
We had a lot of work today, a lot of training, guarding and cleaning with some briefing and jogging.
In between, I had a rather unpleasant phone talk with Natalie. One of the things that she told me concerned my relationship with Angel. She repeatedly cursed her and asked me to break any contact with her.
She's a few thousand miles away and I'm here with you, Natalie. What about you and Amir?
She said that distance doesn't keep me from being emotionally attached to Angel, that my relationship with her is a long and serious one, unlike her and Amir's.
After jogging, I returned to my room and checked up my cellphone: 9 missed calls from Natalie. What's up? Within less than a minute she called me again.
Shachar, her employer, advised her to break up with me. She wants to break up temporarily, says that I'm constantly on her mind, that it's too much and she doesn't want to feel like she depends on me.
Break up for 1 month? And then what?!
16 days in the army without her, then 5 days at home without her, then another 16 days in the army without her. I don't think I can be without her that long!
Things will change, I'm sure of that.
It is crazy how one day you're deeply loved by someone and you mean everything in the world to that person and the other day, this person no longer has any feelings towards you, no longer cares about you. Your words will never again touch his/her heart. It's like the person has been brainwashed... or more accurately - heartwashed!
I hope that she won't stop loving me. I know she won't be able to live without me... the further she gets away, the more she'll miss me and love me.
I'm sure things will change, they have to. It's just a bad day. It's going to be alright tomorrow. Good night. For now.
22nd July, 2005
Shachar told Natalie that she shouldn't waste time on me. She should dump me right away.
"Why?" "Because with a beauty and intelligence like yours you can reach the highest summits. You can afford yourself a rich guy who'll spoil you." "What happens after I dump him?" "You wait for my instructions."
The next day she told him she dumped me. He said he'd take her to some fancy clubs, parks and restaurant in northern Tel Aviv where she'd meet rich guys that suit her beauty.
I remember her telling me that she wants to marry a rich guy. She admitted being materialistic but then added that love comes first. Then she ruined it: "sometimes though... money is more important." Right....
"You can go and meet those guys and see for yourself that it's not quite the way you imagine it. Most of them would only use you in bed. Besides, rich guys are usually greedy."
"In any way, I can't marry a wallet. I need somebody I could love, who would love me back and that is you."
Later in the afternoon I connected to ICQ on my cellphone and we chatted. I told her that in the end, all I was is for her to be happy. I'd give up everything so that we'll have an ideal relationship. She asked me to change a few things in my behavior: "I want you to run after me, to show me more care. For example, call me more often. I'd like you to be more open with me, to share everything, to be calm, not aggressive."
Will do! =) (I'm usually a very calm guy. Maybe upset sometimes, but certainly not aggressive. Looking back at these events I can't remember when was the last time I'd been aggressive.)
I've a real hope that this relationship will get better. I asked her to show me more care, to be more romantic, emotional, to share everything with me. No secrets. I also asked her to stop cursing me, to respect me and understand my point of view.
Tonight I've felt a real change. I talk to her very calmly. Almost every sentence includes words like "my love" "honey" "sweetheart". She's become a bit more romantic, but she still inserts sarcasm into our dialogue that somehow ruins the whole romantic atmosphere.
The Presentation
2 weeks ago I had a chat with Angel. She told me she was preparing a power point presentation which she'd send me later. On 13th I met her online and she sent me that presentation. It was a short one, 6 slides. It showed pictures of our favourite Anime serie Love Hina (which was one the main factors in our special relationship), pictures of Regensburg, pictures of us together and a sunset. Text shown in the presentation was expressing her emotions, something that touched the very depth of my heart, where my feelings for Angel lay buried for the last few months.
The last slide was a picture of Japan. "You promised me to take me there. I miss you." It said.
Yes, the very promise that meant so much for the two of us...
More than 2 years ago, I've said the words: "One day, you and I will travel together to Japan."
She replied: "Yes, that's a promise."
(I took the idea from our favourite series - Love Hina. In the series, the guy, still in his early childhood years, promised the girl that when they get older, they'll both study in Tokyo university together. When he got older, he did his best to realize that dream...)
During my birthday, I told Natalie about that presentation. I can't quite remember why I did that, but I definitely didn't expect such consequences...
The same evening I found her sitting at my PC, scrolling through Angel's pictures. She asked me to show her the presentation, her eyes were filled with tears. "Why? Why do you do this? You don't have to see all this. I don't love her anymore, it's in the past!" But she insisted...
I showed her the presentation. She expected it to be longer. From that moment on, she felt real hatred towards Angel. "She loves you and wants you back. How could she write you such things when she knows that you have somebody else? No matter how hard I'd try, I'd still hate her."
She said a lot of bad things about Angel and it made me feel very uneasy. It's not the first time that we have a fight because of my relations with Angel.
"She's just a good friend. That's all!" I tried to reassure her, but she insisted that I choose - either it's her or Angel. How can I stop talking to Angel and completely forget about her?!
On 18th I talked to Angel and asked her a direct question: "Do you love me?" She replied: "Yes, I do."
On 22nd I was guarding at the bunker, having the time to think about it all:
There won't be any serious relationship with Natalie if Angel stays in my heart. Natalie will always feel jealous and uneasy everytime I talk with Angel. We'll fight and be upset about it. She said she'd finally let go of Amir, completely. She has no feeling for the guy anymore. But Angel... the one I've been with for 2 years, an innocent, eternally peaceful girl with whom I have so much in common.
She might have cut her hair short, put on some spiked goth bracelets and a black make up around her eyes - a huge difference between what she used to be when we were together, but still... We never even had a single fight... not that we've dated that much. We still have promises to keep, dreams of a bright and joint future. She's like an unseparable part of me... but I currently love Natalie, and for love I'd go as far as it takes me, I'd give up everything. To have a real strong relationship you need to make some very painful concessions and there will be no turning back.
So... shall I let go of Angel - my best friend and x-girlfriend?
What if there's a chance to be with her in 2006 just like we dreamed? It could be a happy ending. My relationship with Angel has a huge potential if we end up being together. Our characters seem to match. It could be so perfect! Or am I living in a bubble here? Can there be something like that? For 2 years I've been trying to prove that it's possible.
Anyway, I told Natalie that I'd be willing to give Angel up for the sake of our relationship.
In the next few days I was reminded of Angel in different ways. Was it simply a chain of strange coincidences, or maybe I just really miss her?
Somehow, I have the feeling that the final word hasn't yet been said...
18th July, 2005
As I was on my way north, I saw dozens of cars with orange stripes and a few with blue ones. The orange stripes signified support for Gaza strip settlers and the blue ones signified support for Ariel Sharon's plan to withdraw from the strip and evacuate the settlements.
It made me think how easy it is to start a civil war in a country - find a problem over which the nation has a commonly divided opinion and let the government take sides. If the issue is so important that people aren't willing to compromise over it, they would go as far as killing everyone who opposes them.
I doubt it would go that far in this case, though.
When I arrived to Kiryat Shmona, we had a 2-day trip of sorts. We were taken to kibbutz Dan where we attended a museum of stuffed animals and were shown a short movie about the history of the Houla valley. Afterwards, the minibus driver dropped us some 5km down the road. We had to walk all the way to the kibbutz of Maayan Baruh with our heavy bags in the heating sun. Nobody had any water with him.
At Maayan Baruh an old man gave us a tour around his museum of prehistory. He claimed that he possessed certain antique artifacts that could not be found anywhere else in the world. For example, he showed us bones of what he claims to be the oldest dog ever found on earth.
He showed me and my friend how to play an old game of stones. It's quite an interesting game actually, but it's hard to believe that prehistorical people used to play it back then.
By the evening we were back to the base.
19th July, 2005
We were taken to "Hagoshrim" where we sailed on kayaks down the river of Dan. Me and Daniel got ahead of everyone else, though nobody bothered competing with us. We were the first to finish the track, within 15 minutes. We just sat there and waited for the rest, but nobody came. An hour later they all arrived. Apparently, they took their time to enjoy kayaking and drowning each other in the water. Hmm.. well, we had fun too.
As we were waiting for the rest of the guys to join us, a group of American tourists have arrived. They finished sailing and got off the boat as one of the resort's workers pulled it up and loaded it onto the truck. Another boat carried an Israeli family. One of them was a young girl with a tight, pink bikini. Within less than a minute I could hear the workers behind me start talking about her. I'd have settled for a "look at that girl, isn't she pretty?" but what they've said quite disgusted me. I imagine how unpleasant it'd be if I hear someone talk that way about Natalie. They said: "Wouldn't you want her to s**k your ****?"
21st July, 2005
We had a lot of work today, a lot of training, guarding and cleaning with some briefing and jogging.
In between, I had a rather unpleasant phone talk with Natalie. One of the things that she told me concerned my relationship with Angel. She repeatedly cursed her and asked me to break any contact with her.
She's a few thousand miles away and I'm here with you, Natalie. What about you and Amir?
She said that distance doesn't keep me from being emotionally attached to Angel, that my relationship with her is a long and serious one, unlike her and Amir's.
After jogging, I returned to my room and checked up my cellphone: 9 missed calls from Natalie. What's up? Within less than a minute she called me again.
Shachar, her employer, advised her to break up with me. She wants to break up temporarily, says that I'm constantly on her mind, that it's too much and she doesn't want to feel like she depends on me.
Break up for 1 month? And then what?!
16 days in the army without her, then 5 days at home without her, then another 16 days in the army without her. I don't think I can be without her that long!
Things will change, I'm sure of that.
It is crazy how one day you're deeply loved by someone and you mean everything in the world to that person and the other day, this person no longer has any feelings towards you, no longer cares about you. Your words will never again touch his/her heart. It's like the person has been brainwashed... or more accurately - heartwashed!
I hope that she won't stop loving me. I know she won't be able to live without me... the further she gets away, the more she'll miss me and love me.
I'm sure things will change, they have to. It's just a bad day. It's going to be alright tomorrow. Good night. For now.
22nd July, 2005
Shachar told Natalie that she shouldn't waste time on me. She should dump me right away.
"Why?" "Because with a beauty and intelligence like yours you can reach the highest summits. You can afford yourself a rich guy who'll spoil you." "What happens after I dump him?" "You wait for my instructions."
The next day she told him she dumped me. He said he'd take her to some fancy clubs, parks and restaurant in northern Tel Aviv where she'd meet rich guys that suit her beauty.
I remember her telling me that she wants to marry a rich guy. She admitted being materialistic but then added that love comes first. Then she ruined it: "sometimes though... money is more important." Right....
"You can go and meet those guys and see for yourself that it's not quite the way you imagine it. Most of them would only use you in bed. Besides, rich guys are usually greedy."
"In any way, I can't marry a wallet. I need somebody I could love, who would love me back and that is you."
Later in the afternoon I connected to ICQ on my cellphone and we chatted. I told her that in the end, all I was is for her to be happy. I'd give up everything so that we'll have an ideal relationship. She asked me to change a few things in my behavior: "I want you to run after me, to show me more care. For example, call me more often. I'd like you to be more open with me, to share everything, to be calm, not aggressive."
Will do! =) (I'm usually a very calm guy. Maybe upset sometimes, but certainly not aggressive. Looking back at these events I can't remember when was the last time I'd been aggressive.)
I've a real hope that this relationship will get better. I asked her to show me more care, to be more romantic, emotional, to share everything with me. No secrets. I also asked her to stop cursing me, to respect me and understand my point of view.
Tonight I've felt a real change. I talk to her very calmly. Almost every sentence includes words like "my love" "honey" "sweetheart". She's become a bit more romantic, but she still inserts sarcasm into our dialogue that somehow ruins the whole romantic atmosphere.
The Presentation
2 weeks ago I had a chat with Angel. She told me she was preparing a power point presentation which she'd send me later. On 13th I met her online and she sent me that presentation. It was a short one, 6 slides. It showed pictures of our favourite Anime serie Love Hina (which was one the main factors in our special relationship), pictures of Regensburg, pictures of us together and a sunset. Text shown in the presentation was expressing her emotions, something that touched the very depth of my heart, where my feelings for Angel lay buried for the last few months.
The last slide was a picture of Japan. "You promised me to take me there. I miss you." It said.
Yes, the very promise that meant so much for the two of us...
More than 2 years ago, I've said the words: "One day, you and I will travel together to Japan."
She replied: "Yes, that's a promise."
(I took the idea from our favourite series - Love Hina. In the series, the guy, still in his early childhood years, promised the girl that when they get older, they'll both study in Tokyo university together. When he got older, he did his best to realize that dream...)
During my birthday, I told Natalie about that presentation. I can't quite remember why I did that, but I definitely didn't expect such consequences...
The same evening I found her sitting at my PC, scrolling through Angel's pictures. She asked me to show her the presentation, her eyes were filled with tears. "Why? Why do you do this? You don't have to see all this. I don't love her anymore, it's in the past!" But she insisted...
I showed her the presentation. She expected it to be longer. From that moment on, she felt real hatred towards Angel. "She loves you and wants you back. How could she write you such things when she knows that you have somebody else? No matter how hard I'd try, I'd still hate her."
She said a lot of bad things about Angel and it made me feel very uneasy. It's not the first time that we have a fight because of my relations with Angel.
"She's just a good friend. That's all!" I tried to reassure her, but she insisted that I choose - either it's her or Angel. How can I stop talking to Angel and completely forget about her?!
On 18th I talked to Angel and asked her a direct question: "Do you love me?" She replied: "Yes, I do."
On 22nd I was guarding at the bunker, having the time to think about it all:
There won't be any serious relationship with Natalie if Angel stays in my heart. Natalie will always feel jealous and uneasy everytime I talk with Angel. We'll fight and be upset about it. She said she'd finally let go of Amir, completely. She has no feeling for the guy anymore. But Angel... the one I've been with for 2 years, an innocent, eternally peaceful girl with whom I have so much in common.
She might have cut her hair short, put on some spiked goth bracelets and a black make up around her eyes - a huge difference between what she used to be when we were together, but still... We never even had a single fight... not that we've dated that much. We still have promises to keep, dreams of a bright and joint future. She's like an unseparable part of me... but I currently love Natalie, and for love I'd go as far as it takes me, I'd give up everything. To have a real strong relationship you need to make some very painful concessions and there will be no turning back.
So... shall I let go of Angel - my best friend and x-girlfriend?
What if there's a chance to be with her in 2006 just like we dreamed? It could be a happy ending. My relationship with Angel has a huge potential if we end up being together. Our characters seem to match. It could be so perfect! Or am I living in a bubble here? Can there be something like that? For 2 years I've been trying to prove that it's possible.
Anyway, I told Natalie that I'd be willing to give Angel up for the sake of our relationship.
In the next few days I was reminded of Angel in different ways. Was it simply a chain of strange coincidences, or maybe I just really miss her?
Somehow, I have the feeling that the final word hasn't yet been said...
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Until we meet again
10th June, 2005
Natalie told me a story about Amir... They've made a bet. She told him he can't kiss a guy so he's decided to prove otherwise.
He met a gay guy somewhere in Arad and so he invited him on a date. They went to the cinema and after the movie was over they walked to his house and... they kissed and gave oral sex to each other. He told her they'd done everything except sex and that he's not even gay.
Yeah, sure he's not... like, any guy would do something like that, right? No!
12th June, 2005
Natalie works as a babysitter for one Israeli family near Weitzman st. in Givataim. The guy is over 40, he has a disabled wife and two 4-6 year old kids. Natalie comes over when they ask her to, whenever the parents wanna get some time away from their kids. But this is not the whole story... The thing is, this 40+ y.o. guy buys her presents, gives her tickets with special discounts... and he touches her whenever he drives her home, telling her about how sad and pathetic his life is. It really disgusts her, but she feels sorry for him and she really needs this work.
"He mustn't dare touching you. You should tell him to stop, and if he ever touches you again despite your warning it's sexual harassment. You go to the police and they would take care of it."
Is he going to try anything? She knows where he lives. She's 15. He could be put in jail for a long term...
Today Natalie had to go to work for 2 hours. "Will you wait for me? I'll do everything in 2 hours tops and then we could hang around some more."
Sure, why not? I pedaled my bike around the city, stopping for a drink. Then I decided to buy her a bouquet of roses. But since we were going to my place after she finishes work, I bought her a single rose so she wouldn't have to carry a whole bouquet throughout the city. I'll buy her a bouquet next time.
I wanted to surprise her... She will call up the elevator and when the doors open, I will be standing there, with a rose in my outstreched hand...
I was standing inside the elevator when someone pressed the button. 1st floor... 2nd floor... A stop! Wrong floor! I hid the rose behind my back. The door opened and a guy came in. He was probably surprised to see me standing in an elevator that just came up and was going back down. "You're going down?" he asked me. "Yes"
I decided to be smarter this time... She's on the 4th floor. If she comes out of the apartment I'll be able to hear it if I stand on the stairs and listen carefully.
I heard some noise, but before I could tell which floor it was coming from, the elevator closed and started to go up... to the 4th floor! Shit! I missed the opportunity!
Thinking fast, I thought it'd still be surprising if I go up to the first floor and call the elevator. She wouldn't expect to see me on the first floor, right?
I ran upstairs and pressed the button. The elevator door opened... I was about to give her the rose, but then I quickly hid it when I saw a woman standing there instead, holding a flowerpot in her hands. She thought it was the ground floor and almost went out of the elevator. I almost gave her the rose. I probably looked odd smiling at her, almost laughing there. I couldn't help it! I somehow entered the elevator and turned around without her seeing the rose. I didn't want myself to look even more odd...
The third time it had to be it. I was standing in the elevator. It went up to the 4th floor. The door opened and there she stood. She wasn't that surprised to see me... but when I gave her the rose, she literally melted. We hugged and kissed. Mission accomplished.
We arrived at my place and spent some good time together.
I had a chat with Angel. I told her everything about Natalie. She didn't get hurt. The opposite, she is happy for me and encourages me to keep it that way. She says she misses me and very often wishes that I was there with her. She also says that I'm the only person that really cares about her and that she'll always love me, even if it's just a little bit. Oh Angel... you'll always be a very special friend of mine...
13th June, 2005
We went to the beach tonight. It was so romantic walking in the sand together, feeling the breeze, holding hands and kissing. 2 days ago we did the same, only that we had very little time. Her mom is very strict. She never lets her hang out after 10pm. That means that we have to get going as early as 9:30pm, so 2 days ago we only had 1 hour at the beach.
After standing for an hour in Yotvata (there were no seats left!) and running after the damn waitresses so they could finally care enough to take our order and give us our drinks, we walked to the beach again.
A homeless guy asked me for money. I gave him 5 shekels. Later Natalie saw a guy selling roses. She said she wanted one. Then the guy came up to us and asked me if SHE wants a rose. That's their strategy, to make guys uncomfortable around their girlfriends and force them into buying a rose. "Sure, how much?" "20" For one rose?! At the store I bought it for 6 and he was now asking for 20. I looked inside my wallet, it looked like I didn't have enough.
She wasn't upset that I didn't buy her a rose, the opposite, she thought it wasn't worth the money.
We had great time at the beach and hard time parting.
I can't believe her parents. They're really annoying! They tell her to do things that they could easily do by themselves. She has to come home and do it whenever they tell her to. They use her! Her older brother does much less! She has to clean up after him. Her dad thinks that since she's the youngest in the family and since she's a female, she has to do all the work and start to get used to it!
What the?! She's nobody's slave!
She told me her parents plan to leave her here in Israel and go back to Moscow once she turns 18. Her dad and their relatives have an illegal business there of selling human organs. Natalie lived most of her live in Israel. She grew up here and she doesn't want to go back to Moscow. I'll gladly become her new family. =) But it's a long time until she turns 18...
24th June, 2005
Me and Natalie were spending time in the Azrieli towers. We ascended to the top, 49th floor of the building to enjoy the beautiful view of Tel-Aviv, when her mother called her and asked her to come home at once.
"to do what?" I asked in a slightly disappointed tone.
"to clean up the toilet" !!!
As if it can't wait! Her parents really freak me out... and there's nothing I can do about it. She's no less upset about it than I am. Besides, she's the one who has to live with them and bear it every single day.. and they never give her a break. Never.
Now I'm waiting downstairs... 40 minutes... Until she finishes cleaning up the toilet. They probably gave her some additional tasks. Her folks don't care that I'm waiting for her outside. I don't wanna be there and witness her being enslaved and humiliated. I've already heard them scream at her once. They give me the chills.
A woman has entered the building. She saw me sitting on the floor and writing this. She said it's not normal and asked me not to sit her like that again. She thought I was doing homework.
When Natalie finally came back, she was holding a stock of ads in her hands.
"What is that?" Another task that her folks have given her.
They wanna rent their parking spot. We were walking around the neighborhood, sticking ads. After 20 minutes she was sick of it. She threw them all away.
We took our bikes and headed to my place. Unfortunately, Natalie fell off the bike not far away from her home. She injured her knee and her elbow. It started bleeding so we hurried back to her place. So here I am again... sitting at the entrance, waiting for her to come down again after she treats her injuries and changes her clothes.
It's definitely not one of my best days. The same for her. *sigh*
Funny, isn't it? How great times sometimes seem to be so bad. I have a great girlfriend, we spend good time together. What can be better than that? I should really appreciate it!
We ate pizza and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith at the cinema. When we were back, we took a sit in the park beside her house.
I had 2 more days to spend with her before I go back to the army again. The artillery training is now over. We are being sent to the northern border on Monday. I don't know when I'll be back home again. It might even be 2-3 weeks.
She told me she has a lot of work on Sunday. I asked her to postpone her work to the evening, but she refused. She didn't want to disappoint her employer. I was upset - I was only going to see her until 2pm. She got upset too. She started crying. I hugged her and wiped her tears. "Everybody wants something from me. Everyday I have to give all of my time away, whether it's my parents telling me to do this and do that, whether it's Shachar (her employer) who asks me to come to work whenever he wants..." and sometimes it's me asking her to spend more time with me. "I don't even have time for myself, to read a book or watch TV." I couldn't believe I made her cry! It's the worst thing that could ever happen and the last thing I ever wanted. Nobody deserves her tears! She deserves so much more... :(
I feel that I love her and care about her so much, I want her to smile again and forget the very meaning of crying. I walked her home. We hugged and kissed. I told her I'll always be by her side. Even when I'm not around, my spirit will always be around whenever she needs me. I'll always support her and help her in any way that I can.
She walked towards the elevator and I walked out of the entrance door. As the door closed behind me, the time suddenly froze. I turned around to look at her once more and so did she... and although we've already said goodbye, at that exact moment there was something in her eyes that made my heart beat so fast, making me breathless. I ran back, entered the door code, opened it and ran as fast as I could, reaching out for her and holding her desprately in my arms. I kissed her passionately, perhaps a little too passionately because she banged her head on the wall. It was really funny.
That moment was so unforgettable. She told it to her dad, her dad told it to her grandma and her grandma then came to her later on and asked her absolutely seriously: what kind of boyfriend do you have that hits you like that, that bangs your head against the wall?
Geez, is all her family like that?
25th June, 2005
It's Saturday. We woke up early in the morning so we could go and spend some time at the beach before it gets too hot. I was at her neighborhood at 7am, waiting for her at the designated place.
7:10... 7:20... 7:30... where is she?! I headed up to her place and saw her and her mother come out of the elevator. She's always late because her parents ask her to do things all the time.
We were pedaling throughout the city on our way to the beach. Lucky we weren't that far from her home when I found out she didn't bring her swimsuit. She thought we weren't going to the beach after all. Sigh. Never mind. I can never ever be mad at her, no matter what she might do.
Driving around the city was fun. We found ourselves a nice shaded spot down at the beach. She didn't wanna go in the water because of her knee injury so we layed there on the beach and made out. After a short while I told her we should better stop, because people might be looking at us, but she assured me that there was no one who was paying attention to us.
After a while, when I was lying on top of her and kissing her, I could hear some old ladies mumbling: "look what they're doing in a public beach!" "shameless youth!" "if she were my niece, I would have choked her to death!" (Geez!) "Georgians would have stoned her for that kind of behavior!" "now she'll start stripping her clothes!" "there are more decent place for such things"
The old ladies wouldn't stop talking. They were right beside us and they didn't care if we heard them. In the end they asked us to stop. Ah, the hell with that!
Okay okay, I know that making out in the middle of a public beach isn't exactly appropriate, but it was, I'd say, quite a modest make-out. Besides, there are more polite ways to ask people not to do something.
They simply forgot what kind of things they were doing 50-60 years ago...
We went away, taking a walk across the beach. After eating at Burger Ranch, we headed to my place.
Some time later, her mother called her, asking her to watch a TV program about young teenagers who got pregnant. So we sat in the hall and watched it.
There was a 13 year old girl who has agreed to give away her already-born child to be raised by her mother. One girl was raped by her grandfather when she was 6. The odd thing about this, is that she got pregnant and the child died in the womb after a few weeks. The girl still doesn't know what exactly had happened to her. She cannot comprehend it.
Then the neglecting 'fathers' were interviewed. One kid said: "I don't wanna be a father. I have a future. A college to attend. What happened there is in the past now. She had pretty eyes, that I can tell."
It reminded me of what Natalie once told me... She said she met a guy named Oleg who had sex with a drunk girl and made her pregnant. She was so drunk that she doesn't remember anything and he didn't bother telling her about the incident because he doesn't want to bear the responsibility for that child.
This is so brutal! Irresponsible.
If I ever get Natalie pregnant, I'll take full responsibility for it. How can one ruin a girl's life like that? And it's not only a girl's life but a child's too...
Speaking of children. Me and Natalie have already thought about how we're gonna name our future children. Of course that's just out of fun. We don't plan to have any at least for the next... 5 years.
So children, if you read this, please don't be mad at us if we eventually named you differently or if you don't like those names, but here they are: Michelle, Chris, Lynn and Robin. Yeah, those are international names, because we both think you should live and grow up in a better place, or at least a more cultured one.
26th June, 2005
The sad feeling of an inevitable ending of this vacation grew stronger with each passing minute. Soldiers were walking around everywhere I looked. Argh.
I have one more day to spend time with her. I might as well do my best to enjoy it to the max.
We spent some time together until 2pm. Then we met again at 7pm in Wolfson park. There, sitting uphill we watched the sunset and kissed. After that we came to my place and the time just wouldn't slow down! At 1opm we had to part. We were standing on the road, waiting for her taxi. She'd begged me to stay and not go to the army. She was almost crying. I couldn't leave her, I couldn't stop holding her... I didn't want it to end again. But it had to be done eventually.
The taxi has arrived, but it was kind enough to wait until we finished kissing for one last time.. until we meet again.
When the cab left, she turned around and kept looking at me until I was out of sight. I stood there and looked back at her, watching her divine presence slowly fading away. I kept standing there for another minute. My eyes were wet from tears.
Till next time, my love. Until we meet again.
10th June, 2005
Natalie told me a story about Amir... They've made a bet. She told him he can't kiss a guy so he's decided to prove otherwise.
He met a gay guy somewhere in Arad and so he invited him on a date. They went to the cinema and after the movie was over they walked to his house and... they kissed and gave oral sex to each other. He told her they'd done everything except sex and that he's not even gay.
Yeah, sure he's not... like, any guy would do something like that, right? No!
12th June, 2005
Natalie works as a babysitter for one Israeli family near Weitzman st. in Givataim. The guy is over 40, he has a disabled wife and two 4-6 year old kids. Natalie comes over when they ask her to, whenever the parents wanna get some time away from their kids. But this is not the whole story... The thing is, this 40+ y.o. guy buys her presents, gives her tickets with special discounts... and he touches her whenever he drives her home, telling her about how sad and pathetic his life is. It really disgusts her, but she feels sorry for him and she really needs this work.
"He mustn't dare touching you. You should tell him to stop, and if he ever touches you again despite your warning it's sexual harassment. You go to the police and they would take care of it."
Is he going to try anything? She knows where he lives. She's 15. He could be put in jail for a long term...
Today Natalie had to go to work for 2 hours. "Will you wait for me? I'll do everything in 2 hours tops and then we could hang around some more."
Sure, why not? I pedaled my bike around the city, stopping for a drink. Then I decided to buy her a bouquet of roses. But since we were going to my place after she finishes work, I bought her a single rose so she wouldn't have to carry a whole bouquet throughout the city. I'll buy her a bouquet next time.
I wanted to surprise her... She will call up the elevator and when the doors open, I will be standing there, with a rose in my outstreched hand...
I was standing inside the elevator when someone pressed the button. 1st floor... 2nd floor... A stop! Wrong floor! I hid the rose behind my back. The door opened and a guy came in. He was probably surprised to see me standing in an elevator that just came up and was going back down. "You're going down?" he asked me. "Yes"
I decided to be smarter this time... She's on the 4th floor. If she comes out of the apartment I'll be able to hear it if I stand on the stairs and listen carefully.
I heard some noise, but before I could tell which floor it was coming from, the elevator closed and started to go up... to the 4th floor! Shit! I missed the opportunity!
Thinking fast, I thought it'd still be surprising if I go up to the first floor and call the elevator. She wouldn't expect to see me on the first floor, right?
I ran upstairs and pressed the button. The elevator door opened... I was about to give her the rose, but then I quickly hid it when I saw a woman standing there instead, holding a flowerpot in her hands. She thought it was the ground floor and almost went out of the elevator. I almost gave her the rose. I probably looked odd smiling at her, almost laughing there. I couldn't help it! I somehow entered the elevator and turned around without her seeing the rose. I didn't want myself to look even more odd...
The third time it had to be it. I was standing in the elevator. It went up to the 4th floor. The door opened and there she stood. She wasn't that surprised to see me... but when I gave her the rose, she literally melted. We hugged and kissed. Mission accomplished.
We arrived at my place and spent some good time together.
I had a chat with Angel. I told her everything about Natalie. She didn't get hurt. The opposite, she is happy for me and encourages me to keep it that way. She says she misses me and very often wishes that I was there with her. She also says that I'm the only person that really cares about her and that she'll always love me, even if it's just a little bit. Oh Angel... you'll always be a very special friend of mine...
13th June, 2005
We went to the beach tonight. It was so romantic walking in the sand together, feeling the breeze, holding hands and kissing. 2 days ago we did the same, only that we had very little time. Her mom is very strict. She never lets her hang out after 10pm. That means that we have to get going as early as 9:30pm, so 2 days ago we only had 1 hour at the beach.
After standing for an hour in Yotvata (there were no seats left!) and running after the damn waitresses so they could finally care enough to take our order and give us our drinks, we walked to the beach again.
A homeless guy asked me for money. I gave him 5 shekels. Later Natalie saw a guy selling roses. She said she wanted one. Then the guy came up to us and asked me if SHE wants a rose. That's their strategy, to make guys uncomfortable around their girlfriends and force them into buying a rose. "Sure, how much?" "20" For one rose?! At the store I bought it for 6 and he was now asking for 20. I looked inside my wallet, it looked like I didn't have enough.
She wasn't upset that I didn't buy her a rose, the opposite, she thought it wasn't worth the money.
We had great time at the beach and hard time parting.
I can't believe her parents. They're really annoying! They tell her to do things that they could easily do by themselves. She has to come home and do it whenever they tell her to. They use her! Her older brother does much less! She has to clean up after him. Her dad thinks that since she's the youngest in the family and since she's a female, she has to do all the work and start to get used to it!
What the?! She's nobody's slave!
She told me her parents plan to leave her here in Israel and go back to Moscow once she turns 18. Her dad and their relatives have an illegal business there of selling human organs. Natalie lived most of her live in Israel. She grew up here and she doesn't want to go back to Moscow. I'll gladly become her new family. =) But it's a long time until she turns 18...
24th June, 2005
Me and Natalie were spending time in the Azrieli towers. We ascended to the top, 49th floor of the building to enjoy the beautiful view of Tel-Aviv, when her mother called her and asked her to come home at once.
"to do what?" I asked in a slightly disappointed tone.
"to clean up the toilet" !!!
As if it can't wait! Her parents really freak me out... and there's nothing I can do about it. She's no less upset about it than I am. Besides, she's the one who has to live with them and bear it every single day.. and they never give her a break. Never.
Now I'm waiting downstairs... 40 minutes... Until she finishes cleaning up the toilet. They probably gave her some additional tasks. Her folks don't care that I'm waiting for her outside. I don't wanna be there and witness her being enslaved and humiliated. I've already heard them scream at her once. They give me the chills.
A woman has entered the building. She saw me sitting on the floor and writing this. She said it's not normal and asked me not to sit her like that again. She thought I was doing homework.
When Natalie finally came back, she was holding a stock of ads in her hands.
"What is that?" Another task that her folks have given her.
They wanna rent their parking spot. We were walking around the neighborhood, sticking ads. After 20 minutes she was sick of it. She threw them all away.
We took our bikes and headed to my place. Unfortunately, Natalie fell off the bike not far away from her home. She injured her knee and her elbow. It started bleeding so we hurried back to her place. So here I am again... sitting at the entrance, waiting for her to come down again after she treats her injuries and changes her clothes.
It's definitely not one of my best days. The same for her. *sigh*
Funny, isn't it? How great times sometimes seem to be so bad. I have a great girlfriend, we spend good time together. What can be better than that? I should really appreciate it!
We ate pizza and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith at the cinema. When we were back, we took a sit in the park beside her house.
I had 2 more days to spend with her before I go back to the army again. The artillery training is now over. We are being sent to the northern border on Monday. I don't know when I'll be back home again. It might even be 2-3 weeks.
She told me she has a lot of work on Sunday. I asked her to postpone her work to the evening, but she refused. She didn't want to disappoint her employer. I was upset - I was only going to see her until 2pm. She got upset too. She started crying. I hugged her and wiped her tears. "Everybody wants something from me. Everyday I have to give all of my time away, whether it's my parents telling me to do this and do that, whether it's Shachar (her employer) who asks me to come to work whenever he wants..." and sometimes it's me asking her to spend more time with me. "I don't even have time for myself, to read a book or watch TV." I couldn't believe I made her cry! It's the worst thing that could ever happen and the last thing I ever wanted. Nobody deserves her tears! She deserves so much more... :(
I feel that I love her and care about her so much, I want her to smile again and forget the very meaning of crying. I walked her home. We hugged and kissed. I told her I'll always be by her side. Even when I'm not around, my spirit will always be around whenever she needs me. I'll always support her and help her in any way that I can.
She walked towards the elevator and I walked out of the entrance door. As the door closed behind me, the time suddenly froze. I turned around to look at her once more and so did she... and although we've already said goodbye, at that exact moment there was something in her eyes that made my heart beat so fast, making me breathless. I ran back, entered the door code, opened it and ran as fast as I could, reaching out for her and holding her desprately in my arms. I kissed her passionately, perhaps a little too passionately because she banged her head on the wall. It was really funny.
That moment was so unforgettable. She told it to her dad, her dad told it to her grandma and her grandma then came to her later on and asked her absolutely seriously: what kind of boyfriend do you have that hits you like that, that bangs your head against the wall?
Geez, is all her family like that?
25th June, 2005
It's Saturday. We woke up early in the morning so we could go and spend some time at the beach before it gets too hot. I was at her neighborhood at 7am, waiting for her at the designated place.
7:10... 7:20... 7:30... where is she?! I headed up to her place and saw her and her mother come out of the elevator. She's always late because her parents ask her to do things all the time.
We were pedaling throughout the city on our way to the beach. Lucky we weren't that far from her home when I found out she didn't bring her swimsuit. She thought we weren't going to the beach after all. Sigh. Never mind. I can never ever be mad at her, no matter what she might do.
Driving around the city was fun. We found ourselves a nice shaded spot down at the beach. She didn't wanna go in the water because of her knee injury so we layed there on the beach and made out. After a short while I told her we should better stop, because people might be looking at us, but she assured me that there was no one who was paying attention to us.
After a while, when I was lying on top of her and kissing her, I could hear some old ladies mumbling: "look what they're doing in a public beach!" "shameless youth!" "if she were my niece, I would have choked her to death!" (Geez!) "Georgians would have stoned her for that kind of behavior!" "now she'll start stripping her clothes!" "there are more decent place for such things"
The old ladies wouldn't stop talking. They were right beside us and they didn't care if we heard them. In the end they asked us to stop. Ah, the hell with that!
Okay okay, I know that making out in the middle of a public beach isn't exactly appropriate, but it was, I'd say, quite a modest make-out. Besides, there are more polite ways to ask people not to do something.
They simply forgot what kind of things they were doing 50-60 years ago...
We went away, taking a walk across the beach. After eating at Burger Ranch, we headed to my place.
Some time later, her mother called her, asking her to watch a TV program about young teenagers who got pregnant. So we sat in the hall and watched it.
There was a 13 year old girl who has agreed to give away her already-born child to be raised by her mother. One girl was raped by her grandfather when she was 6. The odd thing about this, is that she got pregnant and the child died in the womb after a few weeks. The girl still doesn't know what exactly had happened to her. She cannot comprehend it.
Then the neglecting 'fathers' were interviewed. One kid said: "I don't wanna be a father. I have a future. A college to attend. What happened there is in the past now. She had pretty eyes, that I can tell."
It reminded me of what Natalie once told me... She said she met a guy named Oleg who had sex with a drunk girl and made her pregnant. She was so drunk that she doesn't remember anything and he didn't bother telling her about the incident because he doesn't want to bear the responsibility for that child.
This is so brutal! Irresponsible.
If I ever get Natalie pregnant, I'll take full responsibility for it. How can one ruin a girl's life like that? And it's not only a girl's life but a child's too...
Speaking of children. Me and Natalie have already thought about how we're gonna name our future children. Of course that's just out of fun. We don't plan to have any at least for the next... 5 years.
So children, if you read this, please don't be mad at us if we eventually named you differently or if you don't like those names, but here they are: Michelle, Chris, Lynn and Robin. Yeah, those are international names, because we both think you should live and grow up in a better place, or at least a more cultured one.
26th June, 2005
The sad feeling of an inevitable ending of this vacation grew stronger with each passing minute. Soldiers were walking around everywhere I looked. Argh.
I have one more day to spend time with her. I might as well do my best to enjoy it to the max.
We spent some time together until 2pm. Then we met again at 7pm in Wolfson park. There, sitting uphill we watched the sunset and kissed. After that we came to my place and the time just wouldn't slow down! At 1opm we had to part. We were standing on the road, waiting for her taxi. She'd begged me to stay and not go to the army. She was almost crying. I couldn't leave her, I couldn't stop holding her... I didn't want it to end again. But it had to be done eventually.
The taxi has arrived, but it was kind enough to wait until we finished kissing for one last time.. until we meet again.
When the cab left, she turned around and kept looking at me until I was out of sight. I stood there and looked back at her, watching her divine presence slowly fading away. I kept standing there for another minute. My eyes were wet from tears.
Till next time, my love. Until we meet again.
Friday, May 11, 2007
In my arms for 24 hours a day
18th September, 2004
I had a delicious breakfast in the morning, it was bread with pork.
We took a bus north to meet other 2 friends of Angel - Sarah and Vanessa. We entered a shopping center and found the cafe where they were waiting for us. The view outside the window was amazing. Sarah was talking non-stop, making everyone laugh. Except for me because I didn't understand a word she was saying. But nevertheless, I enjoyed their company and Angel's constant smiling and laughing triggered by Sarah's endless jokes. Oh Angel, you have such a wonderful smile. One of a kind!
After waiting for 10-15 minutes until the waitress noticed us, she gave us the check and I paid for everyone. Sarah said something funny in German which had the word "Israel" in it. I asked them to translate it for me. Turns out she said the following: "Wow. I wish I had an Israeli boyfriend as well." Ha-ha, thanks for the compliment. :) If my behavior is gonna make people think better of my country then by all means I'll try to behave as civilized and polite as it is ever possible. It really matters to me what people think of my country and my nation, therefore it is very important that my country does its best to look good in the eyes of the world with justice and equality being its primary concerns.
Anyway, we parted with them and took a bus home. As we reached her flat, Angel realized she'd forgotten the key at home. We tried ringing the bell, but no one was home and so we were locked outside...
We were sitting on the bench outside her house for a while, then we took a walk around the neighborhood and stopped at a small, Italian restaurant where we both ordered spaghetti in sauce (with slices of pork). It was delicious. Angel was full before even finishing half of her dish. :)
When she went to the restroom, I suddenly felt so alone. It was the giant difference between her absence and her magical presence. A minute without her was enough to make me realize how much I need her in my life and how much I'm afraid to lose her. I love her so much! I know I can't live without her!!
We came back home, but no one was there so we decided to go to town.
I bought Angel and my mom a beautiful necklace. I wanted to taste all kinds of berries that aren't available in Israel, and while picking the fruits I saw some fruits with a sign: "Imported from Israel". We bought some black and red currant. I can't remember when was the last time I've eaten currant. :)
After a while we bought ourselves ice cream, walked some more around town and then took a bus home.
It was getting dark, but no one was home yet. We decided to sit on the bench for some more. We joked around, did all kinds of silly things, messed with the camera, chased each other around the backyard, lied down on the wet grass, kissing. The camera's batteries were getting low so we went to a nearby store to buy some. It was getting late so Angel decided to call her mom. Her mom told her that both her brother and herself were staying overnight at friends!!! We'd have waited all night! Oh man, we'd have had the whole day and night to ourselves if only we had the key... But who knew?
Her mother's plans have changed. She had to come home and open the door for us, so she brought her sister and her daughter along. They stayed overnight with us.
We went to the bedroom and watched "Big". It's a good classic. But halfway through the movie we were falling asleep as we were terribly tired from the long day.
Even though I was extremely tired, I wanted to lay awake for a while and enjoy being in bed next to her for the 2nd and last night of the weekend. She rejected the idea and wanted to sleep. Somehow I felt hurt to be rejected that way. I told her that, but no reaction followed. That hurt me even more. I'm sure it wasn't her intention, but it felt like: "I don't give a damn if you're hurt or not" :( We woke up with our backs turned on each other, even though I was holding her a little while we were falling asleep. If we've never had a fight until now, this incident was the closest thing to it.
If you fight once, you're most likely to fight again. I don't want it to happen. I want to put my best efforts to making this relationship work as flawlessly as possible. It'll work out... It just has to!
18th September, 2004
I had a delicious breakfast in the morning, it was bread with pork.
We took a bus north to meet other 2 friends of Angel - Sarah and Vanessa. We entered a shopping center and found the cafe where they were waiting for us. The view outside the window was amazing. Sarah was talking non-stop, making everyone laugh. Except for me because I didn't understand a word she was saying. But nevertheless, I enjoyed their company and Angel's constant smiling and laughing triggered by Sarah's endless jokes. Oh Angel, you have such a wonderful smile. One of a kind!
After waiting for 10-15 minutes until the waitress noticed us, she gave us the check and I paid for everyone. Sarah said something funny in German which had the word "Israel" in it. I asked them to translate it for me. Turns out she said the following: "Wow. I wish I had an Israeli boyfriend as well." Ha-ha, thanks for the compliment. :) If my behavior is gonna make people think better of my country then by all means I'll try to behave as civilized and polite as it is ever possible. It really matters to me what people think of my country and my nation, therefore it is very important that my country does its best to look good in the eyes of the world with justice and equality being its primary concerns.
Anyway, we parted with them and took a bus home. As we reached her flat, Angel realized she'd forgotten the key at home. We tried ringing the bell, but no one was home and so we were locked outside...
We were sitting on the bench outside her house for a while, then we took a walk around the neighborhood and stopped at a small, Italian restaurant where we both ordered spaghetti in sauce (with slices of pork). It was delicious. Angel was full before even finishing half of her dish. :)
When she went to the restroom, I suddenly felt so alone. It was the giant difference between her absence and her magical presence. A minute without her was enough to make me realize how much I need her in my life and how much I'm afraid to lose her. I love her so much! I know I can't live without her!!
We came back home, but no one was there so we decided to go to town.
I bought Angel and my mom a beautiful necklace. I wanted to taste all kinds of berries that aren't available in Israel, and while picking the fruits I saw some fruits with a sign: "Imported from Israel". We bought some black and red currant. I can't remember when was the last time I've eaten currant. :)
After a while we bought ourselves ice cream, walked some more around town and then took a bus home.
It was getting dark, but no one was home yet. We decided to sit on the bench for some more. We joked around, did all kinds of silly things, messed with the camera, chased each other around the backyard, lied down on the wet grass, kissing. The camera's batteries were getting low so we went to a nearby store to buy some. It was getting late so Angel decided to call her mom. Her mom told her that both her brother and herself were staying overnight at friends!!! We'd have waited all night! Oh man, we'd have had the whole day and night to ourselves if only we had the key... But who knew?
Her mother's plans have changed. She had to come home and open the door for us, so she brought her sister and her daughter along. They stayed overnight with us.
We went to the bedroom and watched "Big". It's a good classic. But halfway through the movie we were falling asleep as we were terribly tired from the long day.
Even though I was extremely tired, I wanted to lay awake for a while and enjoy being in bed next to her for the 2nd and last night of the weekend. She rejected the idea and wanted to sleep. Somehow I felt hurt to be rejected that way. I told her that, but no reaction followed. That hurt me even more. I'm sure it wasn't her intention, but it felt like: "I don't give a damn if you're hurt or not" :( We woke up with our backs turned on each other, even though I was holding her a little while we were falling asleep. If we've never had a fight until now, this incident was the closest thing to it.
If you fight once, you're most likely to fight again. I don't want it to happen. I want to put my best efforts to making this relationship work as flawlessly as possible. It'll work out... It just has to!
Saturday, May 05, 2007
The value of life when love's present
16th September, 2004
I took a walk to the town center this morning. The weather was great - cloudy and sunny with a light cold breeze. Everything seemed so clean - the sidewalk, the cars, the houses. Even the air was fresh without any smell of gas. In short, walking the streets of Regensburg was really enjoyable. :)
I was mostly looking for a flower shop and a jewelry shop. I wanted to buy her a (relatively) expensive ring as a symbol of my strong love to her. There's a wedding ring, there's an engagement ring... well this one would be a... pre-engagement ring. A virtual-engagement if you like.
Although I found some nice and beautiful rings, I didn't know which ones would fit her fingers. In the end, I decided to take the risk and buy one, which was in my opinion the most beautiful (in the right price range). It was 8 carat gold for a decent price. I would never buy my precious Angel anything cheap!
After buying the ring I headed back home. I wanted to get back in time and get there before she does. On my way home, I entered a flower shop and bought her a bouquet of 10 flowers which I manually chose. The saleswoman didn't talk English, none of the salesmen which I've encountered in the last 2 days spoke English. But it's okay. I've managed. :)
German schoolkids were coming back home. I have to admit, many German schoolgirls are very pretty! But I don't care about it. :) I have my own pretty German schoolgirl, Hehe!
Even if she weren't pretty, I still wouldn't consider finding someone else. =)
I was getting late. She was going to get home soon. I decided to take a shortcut and walk the parallel street, even though I didn't really know where I was going. No matter how far I've walked, I haven't seen her flat anywhere. It was already 1:45pm and with every passing minute I was becoming more and more nervous.
I wanted to get home before she did so I would change clothes into something more elegant and romantic, hide the ring and make her a pleasant, after-school surprise! :)
At last, I reached her street and found her flat. Apparently, I was going the right way. I just forgot how far away from the town center her home is.
I went up the stairs and entered her apartment. Phew! She wasn't home yet. :)
I quickly changed clothes, hid the ring and waited until she came home. I could see the bus station out the window. It had only been a matter of a minutes before I saw her walking out of a bus, walking home... I kept wondering whether she's anxious to see me, every day impatiently waiting for the school-day to end? I know I would've. :)
She walked upstairs, opened the door and... SURPRISE! I greeted her with a bouquet of flowers and a big, warm hug. "Welcome home, honey!"
It took her a short moment to react. She thanked me for the warm welcome and told me about having a bad day in school. It didn't matter to her anymore as she was now happy.
She then changed her clothes and put on a sexy, red dress. We've kissed and embraced each other with wonderful, relaxing music playing in the background.
After an hour she wanted us to go to the newly opened Burger King restaurant to meet her 3 best friends, Shelly, Jenny and Clara. It was really fun! They talked in German most of the time, and I didn't talk much at all. Clara was talking so fast, telling jokes and making everyone laugh. She'd translate them for me sometimes. I liked her friends, they're very nice people. :)
Angel and I took a walk beside the river. We took a sit on a bench and had a wonderful view of boats and buildings, the quiet river and a flock of birds flying around. It was extremely beautiful, but it was twice as beautiful thanks to her presence! =)
We visited a big shopping center called Muller and bought ourselves 3 DVDs to watch in the evenings. It was "The Frighteners" "Big" and... "Braveheart". I don't know if she likes such movies, but since it's one of my favorites, I decided to take a shot.
The shop closed and we had to leave. We took a walk to a park east of the town center. We just sat there for a long while, talking about life, about us and everything else. There we exchanged the sweetest words and assured each other that we will always be together, no matter what. She told me she cannot imagine her life without me. I feel the same way.
We went home and watched "The Frighteners" while eating Lasagna in bed. It was only 10 minutes until the movie ended when she had to go to bed after her mother insisted for several times that she does so.
Perhaps her mom doesn't want to fall asleep without making sure that her daughter is safely sleeping separately from me.
Well, at least there's good news - her mom allowed Angel to sleep in her room on the weekend. That'll be cool! :) I went to bed and somehow forgot about the ring... I will give it to her tomorrow.
16th September, 2004
I took a walk to the town center this morning. The weather was great - cloudy and sunny with a light cold breeze. Everything seemed so clean - the sidewalk, the cars, the houses. Even the air was fresh without any smell of gas. In short, walking the streets of Regensburg was really enjoyable. :)
I was mostly looking for a flower shop and a jewelry shop. I wanted to buy her a (relatively) expensive ring as a symbol of my strong love to her. There's a wedding ring, there's an engagement ring... well this one would be a... pre-engagement ring. A virtual-engagement if you like.
Although I found some nice and beautiful rings, I didn't know which ones would fit her fingers. In the end, I decided to take the risk and buy one, which was in my opinion the most beautiful (in the right price range). It was 8 carat gold for a decent price. I would never buy my precious Angel anything cheap!
After buying the ring I headed back home. I wanted to get back in time and get there before she does. On my way home, I entered a flower shop and bought her a bouquet of 10 flowers which I manually chose. The saleswoman didn't talk English, none of the salesmen which I've encountered in the last 2 days spoke English. But it's okay. I've managed. :)
German schoolkids were coming back home. I have to admit, many German schoolgirls are very pretty! But I don't care about it. :) I have my own pretty German schoolgirl, Hehe!
Even if she weren't pretty, I still wouldn't consider finding someone else. =)
* * * * *
I was getting late. She was going to get home soon. I decided to take a shortcut and walk the parallel street, even though I didn't really know where I was going. No matter how far I've walked, I haven't seen her flat anywhere. It was already 1:45pm and with every passing minute I was becoming more and more nervous.
I wanted to get home before she did so I would change clothes into something more elegant and romantic, hide the ring and make her a pleasant, after-school surprise! :)
At last, I reached her street and found her flat. Apparently, I was going the right way. I just forgot how far away from the town center her home is.
I went up the stairs and entered her apartment. Phew! She wasn't home yet. :)
I quickly changed clothes, hid the ring and waited until she came home. I could see the bus station out the window. It had only been a matter of a minutes before I saw her walking out of a bus, walking home... I kept wondering whether she's anxious to see me, every day impatiently waiting for the school-day to end? I know I would've. :)
She walked upstairs, opened the door and... SURPRISE! I greeted her with a bouquet of flowers and a big, warm hug. "Welcome home, honey!"
It took her a short moment to react. She thanked me for the warm welcome and told me about having a bad day in school. It didn't matter to her anymore as she was now happy.
She then changed her clothes and put on a sexy, red dress. We've kissed and embraced each other with wonderful, relaxing music playing in the background.
After an hour she wanted us to go to the newly opened Burger King restaurant to meet her 3 best friends, Shelly, Jenny and Clara. It was really fun! They talked in German most of the time, and I didn't talk much at all. Clara was talking so fast, telling jokes and making everyone laugh. She'd translate them for me sometimes. I liked her friends, they're very nice people. :)
Angel and I took a walk beside the river. We took a sit on a bench and had a wonderful view of boats and buildings, the quiet river and a flock of birds flying around. It was extremely beautiful, but it was twice as beautiful thanks to her presence! =)
We visited a big shopping center called Muller and bought ourselves 3 DVDs to watch in the evenings. It was "The Frighteners" "Big" and... "Braveheart". I don't know if she likes such movies, but since it's one of my favorites, I decided to take a shot.
The shop closed and we had to leave. We took a walk to a park east of the town center. We just sat there for a long while, talking about life, about us and everything else. There we exchanged the sweetest words and assured each other that we will always be together, no matter what. She told me she cannot imagine her life without me. I feel the same way.
We went home and watched "The Frighteners" while eating Lasagna in bed. It was only 10 minutes until the movie ended when she had to go to bed after her mother insisted for several times that she does so.
Perhaps her mom doesn't want to fall asleep without making sure that her daughter is safely sleeping separately from me.
Well, at least there's good news - her mom allowed Angel to sleep in her room on the weekend. That'll be cool! :) I went to bed and somehow forgot about the ring... I will give it to her tomorrow.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Am I dreaming? Rub your eyes again!
15th September, 2004
Angel came home from school this afternoon. We had 2 and a half hours before her mom came back from work. We spent most of it lying in her bed, kissing and holding each other with some romantic music playing in the background. I wish it could last forever!!! :)
We took a walk to the town to meet Shelly - Angel's very close friend who works there at Burger King. She introduced us to each other and then they talked in German most of the time. I just stood there, looking around, being all quiet and shy.
After walking around the town center and visiting a few shops, we took a walk to the bridge that took us across the Danube river. The view was fantastic... We were all wet after the falling rain and we both felt cold.
We kept walking around town until we reached a quiet park. Although the benches were still a bit wet, we sat down and kissed. At that moment, I wished, AGAIN, that the time stopped... at least for a few years!
It was getting dark and cold when we walked back home. We put a pizza in the oven, brought ourselves big glasses of wine, lit a few candles in the dark and made ourselves a perfect romantic atmosphere. We sat on her bed and watched our common, favorite TV series together on the DVD, kissing each other in between.
It was getting late. We were tired and sleepy, but the TV series were still on. As we were lying in bed and holding each other, she pressed her head against my shoulder and closed her eyes. It felt so romantic! I'll never forget this wonderful, magical moment! Although it was time for her to go to bed since she had school the following day, it felt like nothing mattered to her anymore whenever I hold her in my arms! I'm not sure that it's how she really felt, but that's the way I felt it. :) She's amazing and I SWEAR I WANNA BE WITH HER FOREVER!!!!!!!! I thank God for this great week, for it was worth all the suffering that I've experienced in the army. Oh, I wish I could stay here in Germany... How can I leave her, even for 1 minute?! It's hard enough when she's in school! I love her soooooo much! I hope that no matter how hard it's gonna be, love won't eventually kill me. I cannot imagine my life without her.
Only if we manage to get used to chatting again we will be able to wait for each other again until the next time that we meet.
This is the morning of 16th. I'm alone again, thinking about her and writing all this. I'm very excited to be here, to live this dream and am definitely looking forward to spending time with her today. :)
Angel left me the keys to the apartment this time. Now I'll be able to walk around town while she's in school. I'm gonna spend this morning to buy her flowers and something else that I want to give her.....
15th September, 2004
Angel came home from school this afternoon. We had 2 and a half hours before her mom came back from work. We spent most of it lying in her bed, kissing and holding each other with some romantic music playing in the background. I wish it could last forever!!! :)
We took a walk to the town to meet Shelly - Angel's very close friend who works there at Burger King. She introduced us to each other and then they talked in German most of the time. I just stood there, looking around, being all quiet and shy.
After walking around the town center and visiting a few shops, we took a walk to the bridge that took us across the Danube river. The view was fantastic... We were all wet after the falling rain and we both felt cold.
We kept walking around town until we reached a quiet park. Although the benches were still a bit wet, we sat down and kissed. At that moment, I wished, AGAIN, that the time stopped... at least for a few years!
It was getting dark and cold when we walked back home. We put a pizza in the oven, brought ourselves big glasses of wine, lit a few candles in the dark and made ourselves a perfect romantic atmosphere. We sat on her bed and watched our common, favorite TV series together on the DVD, kissing each other in between.
It was getting late. We were tired and sleepy, but the TV series were still on. As we were lying in bed and holding each other, she pressed her head against my shoulder and closed her eyes. It felt so romantic! I'll never forget this wonderful, magical moment! Although it was time for her to go to bed since she had school the following day, it felt like nothing mattered to her anymore whenever I hold her in my arms! I'm not sure that it's how she really felt, but that's the way I felt it. :) She's amazing and I SWEAR I WANNA BE WITH HER FOREVER!!!!!!!! I thank God for this great week, for it was worth all the suffering that I've experienced in the army. Oh, I wish I could stay here in Germany... How can I leave her, even for 1 minute?! It's hard enough when she's in school! I love her soooooo much! I hope that no matter how hard it's gonna be, love won't eventually kill me. I cannot imagine my life without her.
Only if we manage to get used to chatting again we will be able to wait for each other again until the next time that we meet.
This is the morning of 16th. I'm alone again, thinking about her and writing all this. I'm very excited to be here, to live this dream and am definitely looking forward to spending time with her today. :)
Angel left me the keys to the apartment this time. Now I'll be able to walk around town while she's in school. I'm gonna spend this morning to buy her flowers and something else that I want to give her.....
Friday, April 27, 2007
A two way ticket to Paradise
13th September, 2004
It's Monday evening now. Tomorrow I will finally fly to Germany and meet Angel!!!
They released me home this evening because the flight is tomorrow morning.
The sun would set and mark the last day of waiting. Tomorrow's sun will shine on a wholly different world.
I got home at around 8:30pm. Angel was online. :) I packed all my things. Hope I didn't forget anything.
At the end of each month I received 700NIS from the army. This is the salary of a combat soldier. After a year of military service, I had enough money for the trip. With 900 Euros in my pocket, considering the fact that I'll be staying at her place most of the time and wouldn't spend much money on hotels, I could afford myself a great trip!
14th September, 2004
It is my first flight alone. Actually it was great... and pretty easy! I encountered no problems whatsoever. I bought them some gifts in Duty Free. An advanced calculator for her younger brother, a travel book about Israel in German language and a webcam for Angel so we could video chat occasionally! I also brought my own music cd for Angel and 2 shirts that my mom asked me to give them - for her and her mom.
The Skyline of Israel
The Skyline of Germany.
When I arrived in Frankfurt, I met 2 Russian guys who agreed to help me and show me how to get to the train station. Angel told me yesterday that the train leaves at 1:52pm and the next is at 3pm. My plane landed at 2:05pm local time, so I missed the 1st train.
After the final security check I had just 20 minutes until 3pm. I received my baggage pretty quickly, but the Russian guys were still waiting for their own. I couldn't wait much longer. I thanked him and took a running towards the exit.
There was no sign outside the airport that would direct me to the train station. I asked someone on the street, but he was unsure and gave me the wrong directions. I decided to ask someone else. The next one showed me where to go. In less than 10 minutes I bought the ticket and found the right track. :)
The train brought me to Nurnberg at 5:30pm. I had to switch trains and find track #8 in less than 6 minutes as it was leaving at 5:36pm! I started running, asking people, trying to find it. Eventually it was right in front of me. Phew... I took the train to Regensburg, the final stop where Angel will be waiting for me.
The view outside the window was fantastic! The whole country is so green and beautiful, just like a fairytale. The train moved past small villages with beautiful European houses and churches. This peaceful place came in such a contrast with the world of conflict and violence where I had been just a few hours ago.
Oh, how I wish I could live in a peaceful environment for a change. With no enemies wishing for my death and my country's destruction, without the hatred of half the world, a place that invests in culture and education instead of military technologies and development.
The train was moving fast. I was so nervous. It was now a matter of minutes before I finally meet her. I tried to calm myself down by listening to music, but it didn't help, I was way too nervous!
I wasn't ready for it yet, but the train stopped. The sign outside the window suggested it was time, time to get off the train and meet her. MEET HER!
The great moment that I've been so eagerly waiting for (for 20 months) has finally arrived!
I walked out of the train and looked around. People were walking out of the train, periodically blocking my sight of a beautiful Angel who was standing next to the other doors of the train, anxiously waiting and innocently looking. She was wearing a red shirt and an open black sweater.
In my memories the time slowed down at that moment, but in reality it lasted only a few seconds. I started walking towards her with my baggage. She noticed me and smiled. I put the baggage on the ground and hugged her tight. Even though we've never met before, we hugged each other like we've known each other for years. I felt a pleasant sensation in my whole body, the feeling of holding someone you truly love.
We walked up the stairs and left the station. During our first few minutes together we didn't exchange a word. We were too excited to speak. She was nervous and didn't smile while walking with me to the bus stop. She says she doesn't smile too often in real life even though she's feeling very happy on the inside. But her smile is one of an Angel's. No one else's smile makes me feel the way her smile does.
I expected myself to be speechless and shy, but to my own astonishment, I talked to her a lot and we had a wonderful conversation. When we arrived to the bus stop, we decided it would be best to walk to her home by foot. I wanted to get used to her before I meet her family so that I wouldn't feel a complete stranger.
The baggage in my hand was a bit heavy, but I've managed to carry it all the way to her place, switching my hands from time to time. We talked pretty much about everything and I managed to make her smile and laugh, despite all the difficulties of speaking a foreign language. We both spoke English. It was a great experience for both of us.
The city of Regensburg is very beautiful to my taste. The conservative buildings from the 18th century, the perfectly clean streets, the clean air and fine weather - it all made me feel like I was living a dream. An Angel was giving me a tour in Paradise!
We arrived to her place. Her house is a new building, built in European style with a red, triangular roof. She has a beautiful apartment. Her room is beautifully decorated with posters and various artifacts. She has a lot of books and CDs. She owns a TV, VHS, DVD, Stereo and N64. Her computer is in the hall.
Her mom and brother have greeted me. I handed them the gifts. They were surprised and happy to receive them. I didn't talk to them much, even when we were eating dinner together. They don't know English that well. They kept talking in German all the time and I must admit it was somewhat uncomfortable at times.
The meal was spaghetti-bolognese and that's it. No drinks, no salads, no bread. But that's okay. Spaghetti-bolognese is one of my favorite dishes and by the time that I finished it, I was completely full.
After dinner Angel took me to town. We walked in empty streets, the shops were all closed, but as we were walking together, holding hands, there was nothing that could ruin the romantic atmosphere. There was an open ice-cafe restaurant where we decided to stop. We've had a drink. I was not used to the low numbers when buying things in Euros, so I gave the waiter a tip of 3 Euros while the two drinks had cost us only 7. He barely even served us a single drink. :)
After having a drink we walked to the park. I wanted to find some romantic place where I could give her our first kiss. She's never been kissed before by a guy. Since she would probably remember her first kiss for her whole life, I wanted it to be somewhat special. I couldn't wait to break the ice - I wanted to hold her endlessly in my arms and kiss her over and over again!!
We couldn't find any parks. I thought she was supposed to know the parks in her city. Then it started raining... We found a quiet place with benches. We sat down and I hugged her. As we were sitting there she didn't look at me once. She just sat straight with her hands on her knees. I held them. I kissed her cheeks and hugged her closely. The silence turned it into an uncomfortable atmosphere. We started talking about things, though we both were eager to kiss. I hoped she would look at me, otherwise her lips seemed so far away. She was probably too shy and excited to look at me. It was time. I kissed her lips under the falling rain. The sweet sensation that I wished could last forever... It was 10:45pm. We had only 10 minutes before we had to go back.
We took the bus back to her place. She had to go to bed and wake early for school tomorrow morning. It was hard to part, even for the night.
She made the bed for me in her room and went to her mother's room to sleep separately. Her mother forbids us to sleep together. I hope that she'll get to know me better and trust me in the following days...
I slept for 6 hours. Maybe it's because I'm used to sleeping that much in the army, or maybe it's because I couldn't afford myself wasting precious time. After everyone had left the apartment I sat down at the desk to write all this.
Wish me luck, for I have so much ahead!!! :)
13th September, 2004
It's Monday evening now. Tomorrow I will finally fly to Germany and meet Angel!!!
They released me home this evening because the flight is tomorrow morning.
The sun would set and mark the last day of waiting. Tomorrow's sun will shine on a wholly different world.
I got home at around 8:30pm. Angel was online. :) I packed all my things. Hope I didn't forget anything.
At the end of each month I received 700NIS from the army. This is the salary of a combat soldier. After a year of military service, I had enough money for the trip. With 900 Euros in my pocket, considering the fact that I'll be staying at her place most of the time and wouldn't spend much money on hotels, I could afford myself a great trip!
14th September, 2004
It is my first flight alone. Actually it was great... and pretty easy! I encountered no problems whatsoever. I bought them some gifts in Duty Free. An advanced calculator for her younger brother, a travel book about Israel in German language and a webcam for Angel so we could video chat occasionally! I also brought my own music cd for Angel and 2 shirts that my mom asked me to give them - for her and her mom.
The Skyline of Israel
The Skyline of Germany.
When I arrived in Frankfurt, I met 2 Russian guys who agreed to help me and show me how to get to the train station. Angel told me yesterday that the train leaves at 1:52pm and the next is at 3pm. My plane landed at 2:05pm local time, so I missed the 1st train.
After the final security check I had just 20 minutes until 3pm. I received my baggage pretty quickly, but the Russian guys were still waiting for their own. I couldn't wait much longer. I thanked him and took a running towards the exit.
There was no sign outside the airport that would direct me to the train station. I asked someone on the street, but he was unsure and gave me the wrong directions. I decided to ask someone else. The next one showed me where to go. In less than 10 minutes I bought the ticket and found the right track. :)
The train brought me to Nurnberg at 5:30pm. I had to switch trains and find track #8 in less than 6 minutes as it was leaving at 5:36pm! I started running, asking people, trying to find it. Eventually it was right in front of me. Phew... I took the train to Regensburg, the final stop where Angel will be waiting for me.
The view outside the window was fantastic! The whole country is so green and beautiful, just like a fairytale. The train moved past small villages with beautiful European houses and churches. This peaceful place came in such a contrast with the world of conflict and violence where I had been just a few hours ago.
Oh, how I wish I could live in a peaceful environment for a change. With no enemies wishing for my death and my country's destruction, without the hatred of half the world, a place that invests in culture and education instead of military technologies and development.
* * * * *
The train was moving fast. I was so nervous. It was now a matter of minutes before I finally meet her. I tried to calm myself down by listening to music, but it didn't help, I was way too nervous!
I wasn't ready for it yet, but the train stopped. The sign outside the window suggested it was time, time to get off the train and meet her. MEET HER!
The great moment that I've been so eagerly waiting for (for 20 months) has finally arrived!
I walked out of the train and looked around. People were walking out of the train, periodically blocking my sight of a beautiful Angel who was standing next to the other doors of the train, anxiously waiting and innocently looking. She was wearing a red shirt and an open black sweater.
In my memories the time slowed down at that moment, but in reality it lasted only a few seconds. I started walking towards her with my baggage. She noticed me and smiled. I put the baggage on the ground and hugged her tight. Even though we've never met before, we hugged each other like we've known each other for years. I felt a pleasant sensation in my whole body, the feeling of holding someone you truly love.
We walked up the stairs and left the station. During our first few minutes together we didn't exchange a word. We were too excited to speak. She was nervous and didn't smile while walking with me to the bus stop. She says she doesn't smile too often in real life even though she's feeling very happy on the inside. But her smile is one of an Angel's. No one else's smile makes me feel the way her smile does.
I expected myself to be speechless and shy, but to my own astonishment, I talked to her a lot and we had a wonderful conversation. When we arrived to the bus stop, we decided it would be best to walk to her home by foot. I wanted to get used to her before I meet her family so that I wouldn't feel a complete stranger.
The baggage in my hand was a bit heavy, but I've managed to carry it all the way to her place, switching my hands from time to time. We talked pretty much about everything and I managed to make her smile and laugh, despite all the difficulties of speaking a foreign language. We both spoke English. It was a great experience for both of us.
The city of Regensburg is very beautiful to my taste. The conservative buildings from the 18th century, the perfectly clean streets, the clean air and fine weather - it all made me feel like I was living a dream. An Angel was giving me a tour in Paradise!
We arrived to her place. Her house is a new building, built in European style with a red, triangular roof. She has a beautiful apartment. Her room is beautifully decorated with posters and various artifacts. She has a lot of books and CDs. She owns a TV, VHS, DVD, Stereo and N64. Her computer is in the hall.
Her mom and brother have greeted me. I handed them the gifts. They were surprised and happy to receive them. I didn't talk to them much, even when we were eating dinner together. They don't know English that well. They kept talking in German all the time and I must admit it was somewhat uncomfortable at times.
The meal was spaghetti-bolognese and that's it. No drinks, no salads, no bread. But that's okay. Spaghetti-bolognese is one of my favorite dishes and by the time that I finished it, I was completely full.
After dinner Angel took me to town. We walked in empty streets, the shops were all closed, but as we were walking together, holding hands, there was nothing that could ruin the romantic atmosphere. There was an open ice-cafe restaurant where we decided to stop. We've had a drink. I was not used to the low numbers when buying things in Euros, so I gave the waiter a tip of 3 Euros while the two drinks had cost us only 7. He barely even served us a single drink. :)
After having a drink we walked to the park. I wanted to find some romantic place where I could give her our first kiss. She's never been kissed before by a guy. Since she would probably remember her first kiss for her whole life, I wanted it to be somewhat special. I couldn't wait to break the ice - I wanted to hold her endlessly in my arms and kiss her over and over again!!
We couldn't find any parks. I thought she was supposed to know the parks in her city. Then it started raining... We found a quiet place with benches. We sat down and I hugged her. As we were sitting there she didn't look at me once. She just sat straight with her hands on her knees. I held them. I kissed her cheeks and hugged her closely. The silence turned it into an uncomfortable atmosphere. We started talking about things, though we both were eager to kiss. I hoped she would look at me, otherwise her lips seemed so far away. She was probably too shy and excited to look at me. It was time. I kissed her lips under the falling rain. The sweet sensation that I wished could last forever... It was 10:45pm. We had only 10 minutes before we had to go back.
We took the bus back to her place. She had to go to bed and wake early for school tomorrow morning. It was hard to part, even for the night.
She made the bed for me in her room and went to her mother's room to sleep separately. Her mother forbids us to sleep together. I hope that she'll get to know me better and trust me in the following days...
I slept for 6 hours. Maybe it's because I'm used to sleeping that much in the army, or maybe it's because I couldn't afford myself wasting precious time. After everyone had left the apartment I sat down at the desk to write all this.
Wish me luck, for I have so much ahead!!! :)
Monday, April 02, 2007
In Good Hands
21st August, 2004
As usual, on Saturday you get a day off, but in my case it really didn't matter much - Here in Telem we patrol 3 hours at night and that's it. I slept a lot, and in the evening we played soccer until something happened...
Even though it's Saturday and we're not wearing our uniforms, we have our weapons and the radio with us all the time.
Or heard the emergency code-word that meant there was a terrorist activity somewhere in our region. We all ran to the house to get ready. The radio updated us with some details: It turns out, our battery commander's jeep was fired at. We had to patrol in the settlement until things calmed down. After 2 hours we were told it was false alarm - Gil (our battery commander) heard an explosion. He thought it a blown up tire, but when they checked the vehicle, they found a bullet-like bump, thinking that they might have been fired at... with 1 bullet? Eventually, it turned out to be an old bump and a false alarm.
22nd August, 2004
I called Lital. It appears that Dror shouldn't have handed the papers to the regiment commander. He has to sign when the documents are fully filled in and signed by all the required sources. He should have given it back to Lital and only after additional procedures, the major would sign it. She said she'd be back at the base this evening and that I should call her tomorrow.
23rd August, 2004
Or and Yair decided to do some charity work for the settlement - seal all the holes in the fence that surrounds Telem. We've been working for a few hours in this unbearable heat until we've finished it. I expected some kind of a reward after we're done... what was I thinking?!
I called Lital. She said that she's been assigned to work at the kitchen today but she'll give the papers to Dror. (Yes, sometimes desk-work soldiers have to work at the kitchen too, but only 1 person per day, whereas our battery has to send 3-4 each day. As a result, some of us end up being in the kitchen 2-3 times a week.)
Dror called me and I dictated him some details that should be added or fixed. He gave it back to Lital, who said that she will sign everyone involved and I'll know the results when I call her tomorrow.
Another incident happened today - a militant fired towards an Israeli vehicle while he was driving on the road connecting Telem, Adora, Hebron and Kiryat-Araba with Kiryat-Gat and the western part of Israel. A boy was injured in the incident, although he wasn't hit by a bullet. We had to stay alert and patrol additional 4 hours until things calmed down. The militant had managed to escape but his weapon was found, along with 5 bullet casings.
24th August, 2004
Lital asked me when exactly I have a regila. "On 13th, but also tomorrow with my team". She said I should call her tomorrow.
I called Angel after realizing that I may not be able to receive her messages since she's in Croatia. She said she didn't receive mine either. But all that matters is that she's alright and that she's having a great vacation. =)
25th August, 2004
Even though today was the day that I finally got home, it was a bad day.
I couldn't reach Lital. All the desk-work soldiers have been sent to a country club vacation.
Yair told me to come back on Friday (on 27th) for the weekend, because they're in need of more soldiers. Turns out I don't have 2 free weeks. I have my regular 5 days split in two (25-26) (29-31), without the weekend. We were released home at around 5pm. I got home at the end of the day at 8:30pm yet it counts as a day off. *sigh* But at least I'm home and will only stay 12 days in the army before flying to Germany!!!
27th August, 2004
Just 5 minutes after I arrived back to Telem, I was taken to the AV for a 3 hour patrol. That's called efficiency. Not once do they use us soldiers to our maximum capabilities. No, not once, but quite excessively.
No news from Lital. I still can't reach her. Yair told me that Gil, our battery commander, had signed the papers 2 days ago, that everything is fine. Let's hope so...
Yair is a good guy. He's our platoon commander. Never have I had a better platoon commander before. He's a very kind guy with a good sense of humor. He helps us whenever he can. He too has a girlfriend who's now in India on a trip. Maybe, in some way, he knows how I feel.
I cannot stop thinking about Angel. She's amazing! I know I haven't met her yet, I have never seen her in person, but that's what makes our relationship so special. In our 18 months of long distance relationship we've never had a single fight. With each passing day our bond was becoming ever more stronger.
I've never missed someone the way I miss Angel, filling the void with dreams of the two of us together. Thinking about all the beautiful places we'll visit, all the great things that we'll do together. These thoughts alone make me happy and content.
I don't care if nobody really gives a damn about me here in the army. I don't care how long I will have to endure this military-slavery, as long as there is one person in this world, one special person who cares about me more than this whole world altogether could ever care. I will devote my whole life to making this person happy, for there is no better happiness than the way she makes me feel everyday.
16 more days... and I will prove to her beyond all doubt that our dreams can become reality.
21st August, 2004
As usual, on Saturday you get a day off, but in my case it really didn't matter much - Here in Telem we patrol 3 hours at night and that's it. I slept a lot, and in the evening we played soccer until something happened...
Even though it's Saturday and we're not wearing our uniforms, we have our weapons and the radio with us all the time.
Or heard the emergency code-word that meant there was a terrorist activity somewhere in our region. We all ran to the house to get ready. The radio updated us with some details: It turns out, our battery commander's jeep was fired at. We had to patrol in the settlement until things calmed down. After 2 hours we were told it was false alarm - Gil (our battery commander) heard an explosion. He thought it a blown up tire, but when they checked the vehicle, they found a bullet-like bump, thinking that they might have been fired at... with 1 bullet? Eventually, it turned out to be an old bump and a false alarm.
22nd August, 2004
I called Lital. It appears that Dror shouldn't have handed the papers to the regiment commander. He has to sign when the documents are fully filled in and signed by all the required sources. He should have given it back to Lital and only after additional procedures, the major would sign it. She said she'd be back at the base this evening and that I should call her tomorrow.
23rd August, 2004
Or and Yair decided to do some charity work for the settlement - seal all the holes in the fence that surrounds Telem. We've been working for a few hours in this unbearable heat until we've finished it. I expected some kind of a reward after we're done... what was I thinking?!
I called Lital. She said that she's been assigned to work at the kitchen today but she'll give the papers to Dror. (Yes, sometimes desk-work soldiers have to work at the kitchen too, but only 1 person per day, whereas our battery has to send 3-4 each day. As a result, some of us end up being in the kitchen 2-3 times a week.)
Dror called me and I dictated him some details that should be added or fixed. He gave it back to Lital, who said that she will sign everyone involved and I'll know the results when I call her tomorrow.
Another incident happened today - a militant fired towards an Israeli vehicle while he was driving on the road connecting Telem, Adora, Hebron and Kiryat-Araba with Kiryat-Gat and the western part of Israel. A boy was injured in the incident, although he wasn't hit by a bullet. We had to stay alert and patrol additional 4 hours until things calmed down. The militant had managed to escape but his weapon was found, along with 5 bullet casings.
24th August, 2004
Lital asked me when exactly I have a regila. "On 13th, but also tomorrow with my team". She said I should call her tomorrow.
I called Angel after realizing that I may not be able to receive her messages since she's in Croatia. She said she didn't receive mine either. But all that matters is that she's alright and that she's having a great vacation. =)
25th August, 2004
Even though today was the day that I finally got home, it was a bad day.
I couldn't reach Lital. All the desk-work soldiers have been sent to a country club vacation.
Yair told me to come back on Friday (on 27th) for the weekend, because they're in need of more soldiers. Turns out I don't have 2 free weeks. I have my regular 5 days split in two (25-26) (29-31), without the weekend. We were released home at around 5pm. I got home at the end of the day at 8:30pm yet it counts as a day off. *sigh* But at least I'm home and will only stay 12 days in the army before flying to Germany!!!
27th August, 2004
Just 5 minutes after I arrived back to Telem, I was taken to the AV for a 3 hour patrol. That's called efficiency. Not once do they use us soldiers to our maximum capabilities. No, not once, but quite excessively.
No news from Lital. I still can't reach her. Yair told me that Gil, our battery commander, had signed the papers 2 days ago, that everything is fine. Let's hope so...
Yair is a good guy. He's our platoon commander. Never have I had a better platoon commander before. He's a very kind guy with a good sense of humor. He helps us whenever he can. He too has a girlfriend who's now in India on a trip. Maybe, in some way, he knows how I feel.
I cannot stop thinking about Angel. She's amazing! I know I haven't met her yet, I have never seen her in person, but that's what makes our relationship so special. In our 18 months of long distance relationship we've never had a single fight. With each passing day our bond was becoming ever more stronger.
I've never missed someone the way I miss Angel, filling the void with dreams of the two of us together. Thinking about all the beautiful places we'll visit, all the great things that we'll do together. These thoughts alone make me happy and content.
I don't care if nobody really gives a damn about me here in the army. I don't care how long I will have to endure this military-slavery, as long as there is one person in this world, one special person who cares about me more than this whole world altogether could ever care. I will devote my whole life to making this person happy, for there is no better happiness than the way she makes me feel everyday.
16 more days... and I will prove to her beyond all doubt that our dreams can become reality.
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