No one is there to draw the line

8th September, 2004

The dates 14-21/09 have been authorized, but there are currently no tickets available for my flight back, on 21st. I've been added to the waiting list. For now I'm scheduled to fly back to Israel on 20th. I hope that the ticket becomes available though. An extra day with her sounds like a priceless treasure.

11th September, 2004

Angel e-mailed me a few times during the last few days. I also sent her SMS messages now that her phone's finally turned on. (Her mother's upset at the monthly bills of her daughter's cellphone. Angel likes to talk a lot with her friends over the phone...)

She said I could call her in the evenings, but I tried and her phone seems to be turned off all the time.

* * * * *

Me, Rami, Tzahi and Matan are in the 2nd pillbox since yesterday. It's the one that is overlooking the bridge between Hebron and Halhoul. Barbed wire is blocking the passage for cars and pedestrians alike. Nobody is allowed to pass, except for children. But the fact that nobody's allowed to pass doesn't mean that no one's trying to.































I've always wondered why soldiers keep shouting loudly and behaving aggressively whenever they want someone to obey them. Palestinians are people like all of us, they can understand you even if you use a lower tone of voice. Can't they?

During my shift there was a woman that tried to cross the bridge. It was my turn to turn people back. I took the megaphone and tried to attract her attention by calmly addressing her: "excuse me, lady, but you're not allowed to cross here. Please go back..... lady?" Matan started laughing at how pathetically it looked. She didn't bother listening to me and kept walking ahead towards Hebron. Matan took the megaphone and shouted at her to go back.

I guess sometimes you just don't have a choice. You have to use some sort of aggression to get people to listen to you. As a soldier, you can't always be nice. Some people might use it against you. It happens all the time.

But what if being nice is part of my character?

Tzahi seems to like yelling at Palestinians and give away orders. Never mind the fact that he's not even a commander, but a very young and inexperienced soldier who'd talked to a Palestinian for the first time in his life just less than a month ago.

Some people love being in command of others. It gives a boost to their self-confidence.

When a crowd of 20-25 year old women tried to cross the bridge despite Matan's repetitive calls to turn back, he and Rami ran out of the pillbox and on to the bridge. Rami took a magazine of blank bullets with him. Tzahi stayed at the top with me. "Now, watch and learn" he bragged. He took my M-16 ouf of the window and loaded it. A shot was heard! It was Matan. Women were running in panic in both directions. Schoolkids that were crossing the bridge started running as well.

Was it necessary to use violence? Wouldn't they have turned back anyway after seeing the soldiers blocking their way? I cannot say for sure. Yet I think all the peaceful methods should be attempted before turning to violence.

The bridge was closed and no one was allowed to cross, except children. But only 200 meters to the east, you could see Palestinians freely crossing the road . Sometimes the AV patrol would catch them, the soldiers would fire some rubber bullets for a while, then leave. A minute later, the traffic would resume.

Matan told us that one time, he and Yoav chased the Palestinians there, firing rubber bullets and hitting people while they were fleeing. He talked about it with such pride, as if it was one of the best things he had ever done.

After a while, Gil arrived in his jeep. While visiting the pillbox he gave us one romme. (romme is a metallic cylinder that you attach to the barrel of your rifle. It allows you to shoot rubber bullets. You put a small pack of three rubber cylinders inside, load your weapon with blanks and fire.)

Matan said that he'll fire one rubber bullet instead of three and that if anyone asks us, he fired a pack of three. (a pack of three bullets are used in order to lower its speed and therefore minimize the damage caused by the bullet. IDF forbids using a single bullet instead of a pack of three. These bullets must not be used within a close range as they are capable of killing.) Matan says that a pack of three barely hurts, while a single bullet is very painful and leaves a mark that will make sure they would no longer dare to cross the road during closure.

"Why 1? Why not 3?" I asked him.
"What a leftist!" he replied to me with a disrespectful smile.
"What would you do if people get hurt and need to get to a hospital? There's closure."
"Oh, don't be such a leftist! The bridge is closed, and so far there have been no emergencies."
If being humane is called being a leftist, then I'm proud to be one.

Gil gave Matan new orders - not to let anyone cross the bridge, not even schoolkids!

Tzahi is dying to shoot Palestinians with rubber bullets. He keeps asking Matan for permission to start shooting. ARGH!?!?!?!?! He's standing there, watching Palestinians with binoculars. He said: "I'm marking my target."

Why are they here, serving in the territories? Who gave them weapons and license to act on free will? Why do people enjoy shooting other people?! It's not a video game, but real people!!!!!

The same goes for Palestinians. If they'd been given weapons, I'm sure some of them would love to shoot Israelis.

Sigh... No respect for human life.

Every action has a consequence

7th September, 2004

Great news - The commander of our regiment signed the form. Tickets are available! Which one should I choose? 14-21/9? or 15-22/9? The latter costs much more. I need to consult with Angel, but she's changed her cellphone so I can't talk to her about it for now. I guess I'll order 14-21/9...

Another shift at the checkpoint of Beit Kahil. The Safari took us to the bridge. As we arrived, a crowd of approx. 500 Palestinians were waiting there, on their way from Beit Kahil to Hebron. We replaced the soldiers who were here during the night shift and then started working.

Raleb tried to make the crowd form 4 lines so they could be checked one by one. They keep pushing each other, each trying to get ahead of the others and reach us to be checked first and pass as fast as possible. Being rude and selfish is always the fastest way to get ahead in line and pass a checkpoint without having to wait an average of 2-3 hours. Dozens were shouting and waving, trying to attract our attention to them so that they would be checked first. Everyone had his own story and reasons why he should be the first to be checked.

Raleb is a Druze officer so it's no wonder he knows Arabic. Palestinians don't know it. Most soldiers don't know the language and Palestinians are not afraid to say whatever they want in Arabic in front of us, so Raleb heard all kinds of things. He caught some in their lies, caught others who planned to go around the checkpoint after being told to turn back and head home.

When Raleb realized he couldn't make 500 Palestinians listen to him and stand in 2 lines, he said: "I won't be checking anyone. Not until you form 4 straight lines in front of me."

One Palestinian heard him and decided to help us form 4 lines, for the sake of his own friends. He became our translator. He addressed the crowd and asked them to form 2 lines of men and 2 of women. Part of the crowd listened to his words, others were still standing scattered all over the place. Raleb was not satisfied.

A moment later Gil, the battery commander, arrived in his jeep along with his driver and a medic. They were standing on the bridge above us. One of them threw a shock grenade at the crowd. Then they started firing empty bullets in the air. (What the f**k was that for?!) The crowd quickly dispersed, everyone was running back to Beit Kahil.

A minute or two later most of them were back at the checkpoint. Oren and the jeep's driver easily managed to form a queue of 2 rows each, by physically cutting through the crowd and splitting them apart. We started checking them, and after a short while whoever was allowed to enter Hebron was inside the city. The remaining crowd contained Hebron workers, hospital visitors and university students. The people who were allowed to pass were doctors, schoolkids and teachers. The Palestinian press was present. They photographed everything.

A patrol of two soldiers on and around the bridge prevented Palestinians from skipping the checkpoint. That's probably why there were so many Palestinians at the checkpoint today. There were still a few guys who crossed the road a few hundred meters away, out of our reach. There wasn't much we could do about it.

Me and Daniel went up there to switch places with the patrol. It was very hot up there, no shade to hide ourselves from the sun. We took 2 bottles of water with us. A 16 year old girl was heading our way from Hebron. She was holding hands with a 4 year old girl. They wanted to cross the road and go home. She kept talking to us in Arabic, trying to explain something, but we couldn't understand a word she was saying. We tried both Hebrew and English, but her reaction was the same as ours. We used the radio comm. to ask if she's allowed to pass, but Kobi gave us a negative answer. (Why? She's just a schoolgirl.)

She was only allowed to pass through the checkpoint. She tried to explain to me and Daniel that she lives right across the road. The road cuts through the hill. South and below the road is where Hebron lies. North and above the road is where Beit Kahil is located. We could see a woman in one of the houses on the hill waving to the girl. It was really close. But going around is just extra ~300 meters of walking.

Unfortunately, we couldn't let her pass. I could understand her point of view, and I could understand Kobi's point of view as well. If we let her pass, other Palestinians who keep standing on both sides of the road would be heading this way and trying to pass like she did.

But wait, they're just 2 schoolgirls. Schoolkids are always allowed to pass through the checkpoint ahead of the others, so why not allow them to skip the checkpoint in the first place?

Orders were still orders. We couldn't let her pass. We kept arguing with her and speaking 2 different languages without understanding each other. I couldn't shout at her, I can't shout at girls at all, lol. Eventually she realized it was useless. She gave up and went back down to the checkpoint and then up the hill back to her home.

I wish I had let her pass. Maybe I should have done so... Maybe I shouldn't have contacted Kobi.

A while later there were two more schoolgirls who tried to pass at the same place. This time we let them. :)

A few minutes later we noticed two 4-6 year old girls standing on the edge of the hill, right above the road. They were shouting something to us, trying to draw our attention. At first it looked like they were just trying to entertain us by jumping and clapping hands, but then things started to be a bit more shocking for us...

The 2 little girls were showing their middle fingers at us. We couldn't tell what they were shouting, but it may have been cursing. Then they picked stones and started throwing them at us. Fortunately, they were just 2 little girls who couldn't throw a stone further than a few meters. The stones could not reach us, they fell on the road... The road! Then I noticed that they were throwing some stones down on the road. An Israeli car was just passing by on the right lane, the one closer to the girls. Just as it was about to pass, one of the girls lifted a relatively large stone and threw it down the hill. The stone fell down, rolled a bit and then jumped on the road almost hitting the car!

I was shocked! We started running a few meters ahead just to scare them away and they ran away. After a while they came back, but did nothing dangerous this time. A while later they went home.

Daniel later told me that while he was checking people in the checkpoint, there was one woman who wouldn't give him identification papers. He kept asking her over and over again, but she kept mumbling something he couldn't quite understand. Then she simply showed him - She had no hands! He was shocked! He apologized to her and let her pass.

In the evening we were finally replaced. The Safari had to refuel so it took us to some base East of Hebron. On our way there, we stopped at some point on the road between Halhoul and Hebron. There was a small path leading from Hebron across the Israeli road to large grove fields east of Halhoul. Dozens of Palestinians were walking there, despite the closure. Raleb and Oren walked out of the Safari joined by the AV, and dispersed the crowd by shooting empty bullets in the air. They enjoyed it and laughed with each other. But there was nothing pleasant in seeing women and children running scared and hiding in the fields afraid to get shot.

The AV driver walked out of the vehicle and fired some rubber bullets at the crowd that was already quite far away, forcing them to keep running further away. The driver then laughed in enjoyment. He isn't even a combat soldier and he isn't allowed to shoot at all, unless his life is in danger. There were other soldiers there who participated in the shooting. Some of them were shooting in the air, others were aiming at the crowd. The crowd doesn't know whether it's real bullets, rubber bullets, or just empty shells.

I'm absolutely certain that after we'd left the place the traffic resumed. What good did it do? Did they do it for entertainment? Is it going to prevent militants from going in and out of Hebron? I kinda tend to think that it might only cause the opposite. More hatred, more suffering, more militants.

The word "Defense" in Israeli Defense Forces is not always that accurate. There's always enough idiots who forget why they serve in IDF in the first place.

The closure of Hebron - A regular shift at a checkpoint

6th September, 2004

Today I had a shift at the new checkpoint under the bridge connecting Hebron and Beit Kahil.
Following the suicide bombing, IDF's high command has given orders to put Hebron under full closure. That means that no one can get in or out of the city without being checked by IDF.

The bridge of Beit Kahil was one of the roads leading out of Hebron and it had to be checked 24 hours a day. Everyday, early in the morning, there were 200-300 people waiting at both sides of the bridge, hoping to cross. Doctors and children were given passage immediately. The rest had to wait in line and be checked. Far not everyone was allowed to cross.

The checkpoint wasn't 100% effective. Dozens crossed the Israeli road above and alongside the bridge without a problem. To prevent anyone from getting in and out of the city, you would have to position a few hundred soldiers alongside the road, physically covering the whole northern part of Hebron. But there we were, blocking passage under the bridge as if suspects and militants would choose to come straight to us.





















At first there was a DCO guy with us. He kept yelling in Arabic, aiming with his weapon and giving orders. Raleb and Kobi did the same thing. I talked to some Palestinians and they obeyed me and turned back without me having to yell at them. I guess there was enough yelling already. Wouldn't they obey without all the yelling and gun-pointing?

Or and Raleb went up the bridge and prevented people from alternatively crossing it. Raleb, according to Or's enthusiastic story-telling, pushed people, grabbed them by their neckties, aimed his weapon at their foreheads within close range while yelling at them. "Are you fucking with me? Don't you see that everyone else is waiting in line at the checkpoint?!"

But they weren't up there all day. The moment they left the place and went back to the checkpoint, a new wave of citizens began crossing over without being checked. It was useless. Wouldn't we have done the same? Probably. But then they would've done the same in our place as well.

At noon, at around 1:30pm, kids crossed the checkpoint. They were coming back from school. They were cute, smiling. There were two kids that didn't look like Palestinians at all - a blonde girl and a blonde boy. They had bright-white skin. That was a rare thing to me.

The building around us were rich villas. The kind of houses that an average Israeli citizen could not afford to own. But Palestinians are excellent builders, or so they say, so it doesn't cost them that much.

Some Palestinians carried goods. There were flour bags with "USA" entitled on them, other flour bags that came from "UNRWA" with a Japanese flag on them. There were cement bags with USA's Target trademark on them. They all passed through the checkpoint. Most Palestinians were carrying black plastic bags with them.

There was a woman that tried to cross the road alongside the bridge quite close to us. Kobi told her to go back, but she refused and started running towards the other side. She stumbled onto some wires and fell down. Then she stood up, but this time she was just walking ahead. Kobi shouted: "Allo! Allo!" even though she was already quite far away. She heard him and started running again until she reached one of the houses on the other side. Kobi burst into laughter.

After a short while, TIPH guys came to the checkpoint and wanted to cross, but we didn't let them. They were taking notes all the time and even threatened us that they'll file a charge against us for not letting them pass.

One guy came with a truck full of tomatoes. He offered us tomatoes in exchange for his passage, but that didn't really work and he had to go back to Beit Kahil.

Apart from all the yelling, the gun-pointing, the chasing, the necktie grabbing, I haven't witnessed any violence there. No one was beat up or shot at. At times there was a friendly atmosphere, Palestinians were joking with us, everyone was laughing - something pleasant for a change.

There were also Palestinians who spoke Russian. They told me they studied Medicine at Russian universities. It was nice to talk to them in Russian.

The 10 hours at the roadblock were horrible. The job was not boring, the opposite - it was too intense. You had to be on your feet all the time, talking, listening to people's problems, checking documents, vehicles, bags, maintaining order and so on. I had head ache from the tight casket, my back was in pain from all the heavy equipment, especially the ceramic vest. My legs were praying for some rest...

We were replaced in the evening, until the morning. I write this instead of going to bed, cause I don't want to forget anything.

I can't imagine myself having to stand in that damn roadblock everyday for like 10 hours.

I called my Mom. She told me there are still no tickets for September 13th and the waiting list is full! My ticket is only for 5 and a half days in Germany, 14-20/9.

I have to do something about it! I have to change the dates!

There was a flight from 14th until 21st to Frankfurt and from 15th to 22nd to Munich (closer to Regensburg, the city where Angel resides). I don't know if tickets are available. I asked Lital if I could change the dates. She said I could.

Lital is very beautiful and is extremely nice. Normally, I would've had a crush on someone like her, but now that I have Angel, I'm resistant to any kind of attraction.

I also talked to Yair. He said that most likely I'll be able to change the dates to 14-21/9 and 15-22/9. Yay!

A quiet night at Beit Ula

4th September, 2004

I was guarding at the bunker of our base when Anton came and replaced me. I wondered why he did it so early, it was still my shift... He said I was chosen to be part of an arrest operation.

We trained for a while and departed after 3 hours. Wearing ceramic vests and loaded guns we arrived at Beit-Ula at 2am in the armored Safari.

All the soldiers left the Safari as quietly as possible, everyone took their positions around the house. The streets were totally deserted. Me, Or and Kobi had to go around the street to the back side of the house and cover for any possible attempts of escape. Or and Kobi faced the house, covering the windows and the roof. I was assigned to watch the alley for any unwanted guests, or whatever.

It was the first time I took part in such an operation. Most soldiers prefer these kind of things over regular guarding shifts. I don't know... It's exciting, that I admit. You can later go and tell your friends about all the cool things you've done in the army. Not like anyone gives a shit. But I don't like to see people getting arrested, see their families crying, or worse - seeing somebody get shot. I wouldn't want to witness such things, especially if I were to remember it all for the rest of my life.

But there I was, sitting at the assigned position, pointing my gun and ready for anything. I felt tense and nervous. My legs hurt from long time of kneeling. I had to keep shifting weight from one leg to another in order to relieve the pain.

It was so quiet that I could hear somebody snoring. After a short while, I heard Raleb shout: "Yiftah el bab!" (Open the door). He tried again and again, screaming louder, but nobody opened the door. Then I suddenly saw some movement in the alley. Some black shadow moving quickly in the night... How relieved I was to find out it was just a cat. Then a man's shadow appeared. After a second or two I could see him wearing a casket, a weapon in his hand. I asked: "Who is it?"
"Relax. I'm a soldier." - It was a driver. Although they're not combat soldiers, they're always eager to take part in all the action.

Several seconds later, the quiet atmosphere was interrupted by an explosion. It was a shock grenade thrown into the house. There was still no reply. No one opened the door.

The man we came to arrest stole a M-16 weapon from a settlement called Efrat. There were other 2 teams from another platoon (Officer's course platoon) who surrounded the house of his parents in a village called Hidna, in case he's spending the weekend there.

Our team was not authorized to break into the house so we left the village and arrested no one.

It appeared that there were some people sleeping on the roofs of these houses. One of the guys woke up from the noise and came down to say hello to the soldiers. He said that the guy we came to arrest stays at his parents' place. I don't know if he was arrested by the other platoon, but most likely he was.

After the operation, I'd been told that Yoav, who was part of the frontal "breaking-in" team, had thrown a grenade into the house without removing the safety pin! lol!
Basically, apart from the stolen M-16, the guy has a grenade now, as a gift from IDF. That is, if he hasn't been arrested yet.

At 3:45 we were back. At 9 I had to go to the kitchen and work there until 2:30pm. Then I had to get ready to leave for the pillbox.

We didn't stay for long at the pillbox. At 3-4am we were replaced by soldiers from the 2nd battery. Due to the current situation in Hebron, the 2nd battery will be assigned to this pillbox from now on.

When the commander of the incoming team was briefed about his duties in this pillbox - he didn't like the part requiring him to open the gate for humanitarian and international vehicles and other special cases: "I ain't no opening it to nobody! F**k them!"

Yeah, right! He'll probably have no choice but to open the gate. Yet, I may never know how much trouble this commander and soldiers from his problematic battery will cause. It's such a sensitive period, especially tough for the local Palestinian population. I know he might not care about Palestinians, but I hope he knows what responsibility lies in his hands - he controls the gate through which Hebron receives supplies of food and other humanitarian aid.

Bilateral hell breaks loose

29th August, 2004

Raleb is one of our officers. He's Druze. He dislikes Palestinians, but is good towards us soldiers.
He made sure I get home very early today. I was ready at 5am and arrived home at 9:30, thanks to him. (There's a bus from Kiryat Gat that crosses Telem and arrives at Kiryat Arba. Kiryat Arba is populated mostly by religious Israelis and Russian-Israelis. It's close to Hebron and not too far away from Jerusalem. I took a bus to Jerusalem and then to Tel Aviv. Eventually I spent around 4 hours on this ride, but once you get home you become so relieved...

While I was on the bus to Jerusalem, I heard how two 40 year old Russian-Israeli women started talking about me: "I'll sit next to this handsome soldier." I don't know if she realized that I know Russian. After a while she changed her seating place, saying: "May a pretty, young lady sit next to you." Wow... That surely doesn't happen often.

There was indeed one pretty, young lady who was sitting... almost next to me (opposite side - same row) on the bus from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv. I only noticed her when we arrived to the central bus station in Tel Aviv. She looked at me as we left our seats, looked at me again while we were standing in line for a security check. When I looked at her again, I noticed that she was quite pretty... but it really didn't matter to me.

I went to an ATM. While I was withdrawing money, I noticed that there was someone behind me, standing in line, looking like her. I didn't look back so I'm not sure it was her. Then, when I took the bus home, the 4th encounter happened. She came to the same bus stop where I was waiting and took the same bus!!! Is she following me or is it a very rare coincidence?!

She looked at me once more while we were standing at the bus stop. When the bus arrived, I sat in the last row so she wouldn't sit behind me, but then she sat on one of those seats that were facing me!! After a while someone took a seat between the two of us.

This whole incident reminded of my earlier "catch the moment" opportunities in which I had my one, single chance with girls that I met outdoors. But I'd never taken them since I have Angel. There's no way in the world I would dare hurting her feelings and jeopardizing our unique relationship. This relationship has the best chances of success out of all the relationships I've ever had. I'm giving it my best for there's no way to know if chances like this might come along again in the future.

Anyway, that girl left the bus before I did and I have never seen her again.

1st September, 2004

Back to the army...

I was late for my bus.. but the next one would arrive there in time, unless something would prevent it.. I was nervous, looking at the watch (9:56) - I have to get to the train station at 10:15. The bus driver was driving so slowly, people were coming on and off the bus at every bus station, but what really took most of my precious time was the traffic jam at Etzel street. After a few minutes of stressfully waiting in my seat, I realized that the traffic jam would take a while to clear up. I took my bag and left the bus, running forward as fast as I could. There was a minibus-taxi ahead of me. I took it.

It was already 10:14 when I arrived. I had to cross a bridge, connecting the two sides of the road. While I was running towards the other side of the bridge, I saw my train departing. That was a death sentence for me. I couldn't get to Kiryat Gat at 11am. I was late and I could be punished for that...

I called my commander. He asked Yair and then told me to get to Kiryat Arba instead. I got there at 12:42pm. Only at 4:10pm I was taken to the base. They always leave you waiting for hours before they arrive with their Toyota (battery's car, used mainly for logistics) to take you away.

I wasn't the only soldier who was supposed to get to Kiryat Gat, so I was surprised to find out that no one from Kiryat Gat has arrived yet. So even though I was late, I arrived earlier than the others.

I just found out that yesterday there was a double suicide bombing in Beer Sheba. I called my brother to see if he's okay. He studies at the Ben-Gurion university in Beer Sheba.

Around 19 people were killed with over 70 injured. The two suicide bombers came from... HEBRON!!

But no, not from our side of Hebron. We only control the northern part of Hebron. The suicide bombers came from the southern part of the city.

IDF has a full closure on Hebron now. We have to check everyone who enters and leaves Hebron at its northern side. Helicopters hover over the city.

As I was at the base I looked for Lital. The other service terms desk-worker told me she's on a regila now, that she'll be back by next Sunday. She found out for me if the form has been signed yet. It hasn't been. "Lital will give it to the regiment's commander next Sunday." I thanked her and left the office. There's less than 2 weeks and now I have to wait 1 week until the process could be resumed? I already have the tickets, they wouldn't dare to back off on me, would they?

Or, Rami and me replaced the soldiers at one of the three pillboxes that our battery garrisons. It's the same pillbox I was in a week ago. It's located in Hebron's north-eastern corner. It's located next to a junction with 3 roads leading to Kiryat Gat, Jerusalem and Kiryat Arba. Normally, our main objective here is to carry out checkpoints on the road when ordered and open the gate opposite the pillbox. It's a humanitarian gate. Just as the name suggests, we open it for ambulances mostly, after we check them.

Since all the roads to Hebron were closed, the humanitarian gate was among the only remaining open roads leading in and out of Hebron. Therefore, many cars and trucks tried to make their way through this passage and had to be checked. Trucks with food, gas canisters, medical equipment and other necessary goods were allowed to pass. International vehicles were allowed to pass as well. Hebron citizens who were coming back home (if I remember correctly) were allowed to pass as well. The rest were turned back.

Or turned some of the trucks back telling them to go to Hebron-Halhoul bridge (where the 2nd pillbox is located), even though he knows perfectly well that there's no passage there. The roads are closed.

Why did he do it? I don't know. Maybe he just didn't care. But he was the commander there and he decided how it was going to be. I could only watch and hope that these trucks would either come back here or find some other way to Hebron.

3rd September, 2004

3 soldiers from DCO (District Coordination Office) arrived to the pillbox today. DCO is in charge of issuing work permits, prisoner visiting permits, permits for medical treatment in Israel and so on. I don't know for sure, but it seems that for most of their problems that has anything to do with Israel or IDF, Palestinians would come to DCO for help.

I was quite sure that these guys are mostly leftists and pro-Palestinians, but I was wrong. At least not those 3 guys. They shouted and threatened, turning cars around.

There was a taxi car parked at the side of the road. Me and Or went to check the car. The taxi driver said that his car keys were taken by the officer after he tried to bypass the cars that were ahead of him in line. Or told him he'd talk to the officer, but he started checking other cars instead. I told him: "Let's go and talk to the officer." He replied: "Are you kidding? You really thought I meant what I said? Let him wait there."

Only after 3 hours one of the DCO guys gave Ron (a different commander, who replaced Kogan) the keys and said: "You can either give him back the keys or you can make him wait longer. It's your call." After we had checked another car, I told him we should give him the keys, that he's waiting there for over 3 hours. We checked his car and Ron gave him back the keys.

Many cars and trucks were waiting in line, each with his own reasons and excuses. While you stand there checking these vehicles, you get to hear hundreds of original stories, yet you must follow orders and give passage only to vehicles with humanitarian aid. They keep arguing with you, which is quite reasonable - they've been waiting in line just to be turned back? and some of them really need to get to Hebron.

After a dozen of arguments you still have to control your patience for there's a dozen more coming ahead. "A trailer has been wrecked in a traffic accident, we need to get there fast!" "I have chicks in my truck, they barely have any air, they would die if they're not delivered on time."

For a while there, we had to check all the 3 roads of this junction. I tried to make sure that all roads will be checked equally. Ambulances and international vehicles were checked immediately. Ron checked cars thoroughly, checking every possible hole in the car, beneath the rugs, the side doors, everything! It's not a bad thing, but if you think about it - you can check a car for an hour, there're so many places where you could hide things.

There was one Israeli-Arab who said he's a collaborator. They let him pass. He informs IDF of any planned attacks, gives away names of Palestinians involved in illegal acts against Israel, etc.

Many Palestinians and international workers from UN, TIPH and other organizations were looking at us with hatred in their eyes. It surely wasn't pleasant.

Although I normally smile quite often, I was rarely able to smile while I was checking vehicles and documents, surrounded by a lot of unhappy-looking people.

After 3 hours, we were replaced in the pillbox. I arrived at the base. Everything is so calm in here.

Angel will come home tomorrow. She said that she got a serious tan in Croatia. Even though I don't really care about that, it somehow got me worried. I like it when girls have a bright, white skin. I don't know why, but most Israeli girls - those who have a dark, brown skin are not my type. Maybe it's because I'm pretty white myself. I hope she didn't get tanned that much.

Man, I can't wait to see her already! It's going to be such a heaven! My Angel... Soon.... Very soon...

Home vacation and a weekend in a pillbox

6th August, 2004

We were released home as early as 6:15a.m.!! Our lieutenant told us we may receive a phone call during the vacation, requiring us to attend a contribution day - Represent IDF in a public place where we help people or contribute in some way. Not that any of us doesn't like to give a little helping hand, it's just that it shouldn't be done during our relatively short, home vacation.

6-10th August, 2004

I didn't do that much at home, but I had a lot of chatting with Angel and it was extremely great!

I parted with my mom and with Angel as I won't see them for over 1 month. =(
My mom flies to Kyrgyzstan on 19th and Angel flies to Croatia on 21st. I come back to the army tomorrow and I won't be back home until... the 27th? When you're in the army, you never know.

11th August, 2004

My day started on a happy note. Coming back to the army is never a happy thing, but I filled the papers today, stating that I'm leaving the country during my "regila". I need to write the exact dates, so I'll have to ask my commander about it.

Ari told me that Yair, my lieutenant, will come tomorrow and then they'll decide about the dates.

12th August, 2004

All the desk-work soldiers went home for the weekend, so Yair asked Ari to tell me that it will be decided on Sunday, when everyone's back at the base.

2 teams got their regila today. I found out that my team will have a regila on 16th. Interesting... Will I have a separate regila or do they plan... to give me 2?

Everything is very organic here in the army. The officers try to make sure that every soldier guards, sleeps and goes home with his team and platoon. Maybe it solves some problems, but it creates many other ones.

13th August, 2004

I had a talk with my lieutenant, Yair. He said: "Yes, we already have the dates ready." "Could you tell them to me?" "You fly on your next release home" "What? But Ari told me that I'll fly in a month from now, on my 2nd release home, in September!" "No. It's on your next release." "But I can't. It's no use." "Why?" "Because as I told you, my girlfriend's flying to Croatia. I must go in September." "We'll see what we can do. Maybe you could switch with one of the soldiers from the 1st platoon." The last thing I said was "It's important."

This and having my towel left in Adora with no way of getting a shower, especially when I'm going to a pillbox until Sunday noon (there's no shower in pillboxes) was only the beginning of Friday 13th.

Sarah, Angel's friend, told her that her online buddy fell down on the rails and was ran over by a train. They're both in grief after the terrible incident.

I'm in the pillbox now. It's a 30 feet tall watchtower where you have a place to sleep and a short supply of food. We're 3 soldiers without a commander, spending the weekend here.

















Hygiene is a problem here. It's very dusty and there are no windows here, beside the small ones on the top of the tower. We have to fill in the toilet tank with 1.5litre bottles everytime we go to the toilet. The food we have here with us is only for 2 days. It's a bunch of vegetables, pears, bread, salami and hummus.

At least guarding here is bearable. We can read books and even listen to music when we turn on the generator in the evening. We can sit as much as we like while we guard (unlike in a regular guarding shift) and it's not too hot in here. The conditioner is on in the evening.

And the answer is...

3rd August, 2004

No. Apparently it was not my last AV patrol. We arrived at Hebron's bridge. The bridge connecting Hebron and Halhoul had a pillbox (watchtowers here are called "pillbox") in the middle, overlooking the bridge. It was constructed after several violent incidents, one of which involved throwing a washing machine on Israeli cars down the bridge. Between the two cities, below the "north-south" bridge there's a "west-east" road connecting Israeli cities of Kiryat Gat with Jerusalem, and Kiryat-Arba (a very big settlement near Hebron). There is also a Palestinian Coca-Cola factory near the pillbox.

Matan stopped a car near the factory and waited for something. I had to stand outside the AV and guard him for about an hour and a half. After an hour, he lost his patience and we left the car keys and the IDs of those who were in the car at the pillbox. Police borber guard soldiers came a while later and arrested the men as the vehicle was identified as stolen.

















Later on we did a checkpost on the bridge. Palestinian photographers came and took pictures of us checking cars. It looked as if they were waiting (if not begging) for us to do something illegal, show some form of brutality.

















The next vehicle was a bus full of Palestinians. Matan asked me to accompany him. The moment we went up the bus, the photographers started acting like paparazzi, pushing their cameras through the windows, taking dozens of pictures. After checking the bus, I asked one of the photographers what paper these pictures were for. He said he's independent and these pictures go to all the papers - Ma'ariv, Yediot, Haaretz, etc. The next day I checked the papers out of curiosity - what could they possibly write about us? There was no article. It didn't really surprise me.

4th August, 2004

Tonight we set an ambush beneath Telem, sitting quietly and hidden, ready for any possible attack. But it's nothing special really. It seems like a waste of time - no Palestinian militants ever walked there, no warnings of planned attacks were reported. Maybe it's just a way to use soldiers at maximum - let them guard night and day and rest a minimum of 4-6 hours, it's not like they can do much about it...

Ari is my sergeant or how should I call it... a sub-officer? Some commanders become sub-officers after serving a certain period of time in the army. Ari was the commander of my team and when Matan joined the battery he became my commander instead and Ari became a sub-officer. Anyway, Ari told me that the battery plans to give me a permission to fly to Germany at around 16th September just as I asked! =)

Angel's mom has ordered tickets to Croatia for 21st August until 4th of September. I won't be able to talk to Angel in that period of time and it might make things a bit difficult. It becomes more and more difficult with time as nothing is certain. When can she meet me? When exactly does the army let me fly abroad? Are there tickets available for those specific dates? What about Angel's school? (She's a year and a half younger than me)

I asked Ari to find out if they can let me fly abroad a little after Angel's arrival from Croatia. The first day of her school year is 16th September. I hope that her mother will let her skip school for 5 days (the period of time that I'll be with her, not including the weekend)
I can't wait to meet her and be with her for a week! It's going to be so great!!!

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, having a girlfriend from Germany whom I've never even met, flying abroad just to be with her for a week. A friend of mine joked about it: It's probably a 40 year old male named Jurgen who likes to rape little children. =)

5th August, 2004

This is the last day before we go home. I had an AV patrol and in the evening most of the battery (except the guys who're at home and those who guard) gathered at the house in Adora and we had a little celebration: Music, barbecue and soft drinks.

A mute witness

31st July, 2004

(1) On our way to the gas station we saw an abandoned car on the road. A police truck came and tucked it away saying that it was a stolen vehicle.

















(2) On our way back, Oleg, the AV driver had suddenly lost control of the steering wheel as he approached a curve while driving too fast. We went off the road, but lucky for us the hummer didn't hit anything, and we could resume our patrol.

(3) Matan, Oren and Oleg decided to drive to a Palestinian grapevine to steal some grapes. I remember a few days ago when I was in Adora Oleg brought a lot of green grapes to the house and one of the lieutenants asked him where he had taken it from. He claimed he'd taken it from the neighboring houses in Adora (there are indeed some places in Adora where you can see grapes growing outside the gardens, covering the walls, free for the taking) but this version didn't seem to stick, because the grapes in Adora needed at least another month to look like the ones he had brought with him. Now I'm convinced that he lied, that it's not the first time he steals grapes from Palestinians along with a commander and other soldiers (a commander is always present in the AV)

All I could do is sit in the backseat of the AV and watch them steal. Any comment on their behavior would be regarded as leftist. I was trapped: I could either sit and do nothing, which is like taking part in their theft, or I could tell all about it to an officer of a higher rank, and be regarded as an informant which may end up being far worse. The one thing I did do was take pictures of it.
















































The problem is, these soldiers don't see it as a crime. They're like the same kids they were at school - excited at causing some damage, at doing something illegal. There's one thing that they forget - they're not kids anymore, they wear an IDF uniform and they represent the Israeli army and Israel as a whole. They're no longer free individuals and they must abide by the rules of the organization they're a part of. That is mostly why IDF looks the way it does - individuality.

They don't think about the consequences of their actions or of what the other side must feel like. I can imagine what would happen if a Palestinian stole fruits from Israeli settlers... What can Palestinians do when they see armed soldiers walking on their property and taking whatever they want? There were several kids, women and old men looking at us as Oleg drove further into the vineyard to get some more grapes of a higher quality. I guess that's when Matan felt a bit of shame and decided against stealing in front of these people.

(4) We did a random checkpost on a narrow Palestinian road in order to check some cars. A TIPH car came. TIPH - Temporary International Presence in Hebron - these are guys with cameras who watch IDF soldiers carefully to see if we commit any injustices towards the Palestinian population. Soldiers hate them, but something tells me this hatred is genuine. There are many organizations of that kind in the territories. This is just a local one.
































(5) Yesterday we saw 2 ambulances pass by. Our lieutenant stopped them with his jeep in order to check them out. It's said that sometimes Palestinians use ambulances to smuggle terrorists and weapons from one place to another. Not today - the medical team said there was a traffic accident in Hidna in which 4 people were smashed to death.

(6) We arrived at a big house (or perhaps a small mansion) at the entrance of Halhoul, just above the bridge connecting the 2 cities. This big house was more like a safehouse for a Palestinian family that cooperates with IDF. This is something real strange: They live on the first floor and the other floors are populated by soldiers who watch over Hebron and Halhoul.
I had to patrol in the garden and the terrace with another soldier. It was a beautiful garden with a fountain, a marble-made floor and beautifully carved stone walls. I felt like a bodyguard of a mafia mob!

















We've waited until the plumber fixed the pipes and then left.

(7) We did another checkpost on the bridge between the two cities. We've been standing there for an hour while Matan and Tal (another commander from the nearby pillbox) checked 2 lanes full of cars. It doesn't matter what was its purpose, obviously the frustration of the mile-long line of cars along with hundreds of pedestrians weren't worth it. Dozens of Palestinians left the cars and started walking by foot.

We didn't find any kind of suspects or criminals among the Palestinians, but we surely gave them a good reason to create some. Why do we check IDs and cars on a road that leads from one Palestinian city to another? (Especially when it's completely ineffective as there are a hundred alternatives routes that connect the two cities which Palestinians use on a daily basis)

















Sometimes I don't understand the decisions that our officers make. But then I'm just an ordinary soldier - they don't owe me an explanation. They give me orders and I have to carry them out. Unless the order involves committing violence towards an unarmed civilian or any other illegal actions that count as illegal in IDF's ethical code, I must obey at all times.

The city and the people of Hebron

29th July, 2004

I called Angel and she seemed okay. She told me about yesterday. Her friend Anna and Anna's mother had a fight, and Anna told her she was going to runaway from home, but eventually she didn't. Instead, she and her have mother reconciled. Why is Angel so sensitive about her friends? She worries and cries at somebody else's problems and she really had me worried last night. I always worry that something bad might happen to her while I'm away, that I wouldn't be able to prevent it. Thank God everything's fine.

I plan to fly to Germany in August, when we get a "regila" (a week-long vacation). Only during a regila I can fly abroad, according to the military laws. But now Angel had told me that her mother, who refused to let her daughter fly to Israel to meet me, plans to go to Italy with Angel and her brother.

My mom gave me the phone number of that high ranking officer she was telling me about. That officer told her that according to military laws, I have the right to fly abroad during a regila. But officers from my battalion say that since it's a combat unit, the rules are more strict when it comes to vacations.

I called the officer and he told me I should fill in a paper - a request to fly abroad, and I should send him a copy so he'd hasten things. My unit should notify me a few weeks in advance so I could order tickets for certain dates (hopefully there will be tickets available). It all seems so unlikely to succeed, but I'm gonna try my best to see her. I always tell her that nothing is unachievable. Distance is not an obstacle, not in our modern world.

I moved to Adora again today, with Yoav and Or. Or asked me to switch places with him so he could patrol with Yoav in the settlement and visit that girl's house, and I would have an AV (armored vehicle) patrol on a hummer. I've gladly accepted his offer, knowing that AV patrol is considered better and far more interesting, although it's 8 hours, while the foot patrol is only 4. Of course after 8 hours of patrol you get the 8 hours of rest in return... theoretically speaking.

Bedouins near Adora reported to us about vehicles with armed Palestinians coming to their village. Our officers want to ambush them, but since I switched with Or, I won't take part in it.
Gunshots are heard daily from Hidna and Tarkumiya.
The ambush was eventually canceled.

30th July, 2004

After 2 1/2 hours of sleep I woke up for a long 9 1/2 hour patrol. It was very tiresome. We entered Hebron and it's neighboring village of Beit-Kachil. We were accompanied by our lieutenant's jeep. That's the rule - you cannot enter Hebron with only one vehicle, due to safety and operational reasons.

Everyone in the streets was staring at us. It was as if the time had stopped. People stopped walking or buying goods at shops. Instead they looked at our vehicles with clear hostility. Some people ran away, some signaled us to go away, others were looking at us from house entrances.
We obviously were an unwanted guest in a hostile environment.

Hebron provided a wide variety of buildings. There were old brick houses, unfinished deserted villas and rich, beautifully constructed.. mansions! (well, not quite mansions, but houses with at least 10-15 rooms) People on the streets were as varied as their homes - poor, moderate and rich - or at least they were dressed like that. Garbage was everywhere on the streets. The northern entrance to the city of Hebron welcomed its visitors with large commercial ads, beautiful buildings both of western-style and far eastern-style. The clean road with grass and palms in the middle gave the city an honorable look.

What was the purpose of the patrol? Why did we have to announce our presence to the citizens of Hebron? What good does it do? I know it's fun and exciting to drive in the streets of Hebron and see things you would never see as an ordinary Israeli citizen, but what does it have to do with defending my country? The commanders call it "demonstrating attendance" (or whatever you'd translate it...) It means that we have to show them that we're here, there and everywhere so that they will think twice before committing a hostile act.

I do not think that those who commit those acts are driven by fear and would change their minds when they see soldiers on their streets. If anything, it would make them be more cautious and more motivated to carry out their plans.

* * * * *

After the patrol, we had to clean the house. In Adora, we have a big villa with 7-8 rooms and 3 floors. Since we didn't clean it on time, we had to do it again by 5pm. At 5:30 I went to bed to finally get some sleep before the patrol at 7pm. But no, I didn't get no sleep because at 5:40 there was a drill: A terrorist had infiltrated the settlement. We'd been running for 20 minutes all around the settlement in this incredible heat. After that, I had just enough time to have a shower and eat dinner.

* * * * *

During the AV patrol, my commander, Matan, asked the Russian driver* to slow down. At night, we circle around the village to see if any part of the fence is cut and the driver has to drive very slowly so we won't miss anything. But he kept saying that it makes him sleepy and that it is taking up too much time. Matan insisted that he drove slowly, so the driver had decided to payback by driving 5km/h on the road as well. It took as half an hour to reach Telem that was only 3km away. He thought that Matan would run out of patience, but he didn't. Man, that was so boring and stupid!

*(AV drivers are not a part of our battery. They usually cause a lot of problems, because they have no commander in charge of them so they feel independent to do whatever they want. ie. If they get 7 hours and 50 minutes of sleep, they refuse to work. Well, not everyone, but most of them are very problematic and give our commanders a real headache.

When we arrived to Telem, we could see several different weddings being celebrated in 2 Palestinian towns. Shots and fireworks were fired. Technically, it's considered illegal for them to possess weapons. IDF (my battery and other forces in the region) wanted to enter the towns and arrest everyone who has weapons on them, but eventually they didn't do it.

Matan told us how once, during one of his AV patrols in a different area (Beit Sira) they had to cross a road where a wedding ceremony was being held - there was a wedding parade of some kind. They tried to cross, but the Palestinians began throwing rocks at them, they stopped the vehicles, threw shock and tear gas grenades at the crowd and fired rubber bullets. The crowd dispersed and the wedding couple, was probably injured as well. Then Matan started laughing at his own story. Damn, how it made me angry!

He also told us how once a Russian AV driver threw a smoke grenade inside a Palestinian store after the store owner yelled at the soldiers. Then the owner picked up a big stone, threw at the driver and missed. The driver chased him down and shot his back with a rubber bullet.
Another story involved the same Russian driver and a Palestinian boy who fainted right after he was shot by the driver with a rubber bullet.

* * * * *

We entered Hebron again. Young boys smiled and waved as we passed by. Older boys stared at us with hatred. Other people gave us an anxious, unwelcoming look.