Until we meet again

10th June, 2005

Natalie told me a story about Amir... They've made a bet. She told him he can't kiss a guy so he's decided to prove otherwise.

He met a gay guy somewhere in Arad and so he invited him on a date. They went to the cinema and after the movie was over they walked to his house and... they kissed and gave oral sex to each other. He told her they'd done everything except sex and that he's not even gay.

Yeah, sure he's not... like, any guy would do something like that, right? No!

12th June, 2005

Natalie works as a babysitter for one Israeli family near Weitzman st. in Givataim. The guy is over 40, he has a disabled wife and two 4-6 year old kids. Natalie comes over when they ask her to, whenever the parents wanna get some time away from their kids. But this is not the whole story... The thing is, this 40+ y.o. guy buys her presents, gives her tickets with special discounts... and he touches her whenever he drives her home, telling her about how sad and pathetic his life is. It really disgusts her, but she feels sorry for him and she really needs this work.

"He mustn't dare touching you. You should tell him to stop, and if he ever touches you again despite your warning it's sexual harassment. You go to the police and they would take care of it."

Is he going to try anything? She knows where he lives. She's 15. He could be put in jail for a long term...

Today Natalie had to go to work for 2 hours. "Will you wait for me? I'll do everything in 2 hours tops and then we could hang around some more."

Sure, why not? I pedaled my bike around the city, stopping for a drink. Then I decided to buy her a bouquet of roses. But since we were going to my place after she finishes work, I bought her a single rose so she wouldn't have to carry a whole bouquet throughout the city. I'll buy her a bouquet next time.

I wanted to surprise her... She will call up the elevator and when the doors open, I will be standing there, with a rose in my outstreched hand...

I was standing inside the elevator when someone pressed the button. 1st floor... 2nd floor... A stop! Wrong floor! I hid the rose behind my back. The door opened and a guy came in. He was probably surprised to see me standing in an elevator that just came up and was going back down. "You're going down?" he asked me. "Yes"

I decided to be smarter this time... She's on the 4th floor. If she comes out of the apartment I'll be able to hear it if I stand on the stairs and listen carefully.

I heard some noise, but before I could tell which floor it was coming from, the elevator closed and started to go up... to the 4th floor! Shit! I missed the opportunity!

Thinking fast, I thought it'd still be surprising if I go up to the first floor and call the elevator. She wouldn't expect to see me on the first floor, right?

I ran upstairs and pressed the button. The elevator door opened... I was about to give her the rose, but then I quickly hid it when I saw a woman standing there instead, holding a flowerpot in her hands. She thought it was the ground floor and almost went out of the elevator. I almost gave her the rose. I probably looked odd smiling at her, almost laughing there. I couldn't help it! I somehow entered the elevator and turned around without her seeing the rose. I didn't want myself to look even more odd...

The third time it had to be it. I was standing in the elevator. It went up to the 4th floor. The door opened and there she stood. She wasn't that surprised to see me... but when I gave her the rose, she literally melted. We hugged and kissed. Mission accomplished.

We arrived at my place and spent some good time together.

I had a chat with Angel. I told her everything about Natalie. She didn't get hurt. The opposite, she is happy for me and encourages me to keep it that way. She says she misses me and very often wishes that I was there with her. She also says that I'm the only person that really cares about her and that she'll always love me, even if it's just a little bit. Oh Angel... you'll always be a very special friend of mine...

13th June, 2005

We went to the beach tonight. It was so romantic walking in the sand together, feeling the breeze, holding hands and kissing. 2 days ago we did the same, only that we had very little time. Her mom is very strict. She never lets her hang out after 10pm. That means that we have to get going as early as 9:30pm, so 2 days ago we only had 1 hour at the beach.

After standing for an hour in Yotvata (there were no seats left!) and running after the damn waitresses so they could finally care enough to take our order and give us our drinks, we walked to the beach again.

A homeless guy asked me for money. I gave him 5 shekels. Later Natalie saw a guy selling roses. She said she wanted one. Then the guy came up to us and asked me if SHE wants a rose. That's their strategy, to make guys uncomfortable around their girlfriends and force them into buying a rose. "Sure, how much?" "20" For one rose?! At the store I bought it for 6 and he was now asking for 20. I looked inside my wallet, it looked like I didn't have enough.

She wasn't upset that I didn't buy her a rose, the opposite, she thought it wasn't worth the money.

We had great time at the beach and hard time parting.

I can't believe her parents. They're really annoying! They tell her to do things that they could easily do by themselves. She has to come home and do it whenever they tell her to. They use her! Her older brother does much less! She has to clean up after him. Her dad thinks that since she's the youngest in the family and since she's a female, she has to do all the work and start to get used to it!

What the?! She's nobody's slave!

She told me her parents plan to leave her here in Israel and go back to Moscow once she turns 18. Her dad and their relatives have an illegal business there of selling human organs. Natalie lived most of her live in Israel. She grew up here and she doesn't want to go back to Moscow. I'll gladly become her new family. =) But it's a long time until she turns 18...

24th June, 2005

Me and Natalie were spending time in the Azrieli towers. We ascended to the top, 49th floor of the building to enjoy the beautiful view of Tel-Aviv, when her mother called her and asked her to come home at once.

"to do what?" I asked in a slightly disappointed tone.
"to clean up the toilet" !!!

As if it can't wait! Her parents really freak me out... and there's nothing I can do about it. She's no less upset about it than I am. Besides, she's the one who has to live with them and bear it every single day.. and they never give her a break. Never.

Now I'm waiting downstairs... 40 minutes... Until she finishes cleaning up the toilet. They probably gave her some additional tasks. Her folks don't care that I'm waiting for her outside. I don't wanna be there and witness her being enslaved and humiliated. I've already heard them scream at her once. They give me the chills.

A woman has entered the building. She saw me sitting on the floor and writing this. She said it's not normal and asked me not to sit her like that again. She thought I was doing homework.

When Natalie finally came back, she was holding a stock of ads in her hands.
"What is that?" Another task that her folks have given her.

They wanna rent their parking spot. We were walking around the neighborhood, sticking ads. After 20 minutes she was sick of it. She threw them all away.

We took our bikes and headed to my place. Unfortunately, Natalie fell off the bike not far away from her home. She injured her knee and her elbow. It started bleeding so we hurried back to her place. So here I am again... sitting at the entrance, waiting for her to come down again after she treats her injuries and changes her clothes.

It's definitely not one of my best days. The same for her. *sigh*

Funny, isn't it? How great times sometimes seem to be so bad. I have a great girlfriend, we spend good time together. What can be better than that? I should really appreciate it!

We ate pizza and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith at the cinema. When we were back, we took a sit in the park beside her house.

I had 2 more days to spend with her before I go back to the army again. The artillery training is now over. We are being sent to the northern border on Monday. I don't know when I'll be back home again. It might even be 2-3 weeks.

She told me she has a lot of work on Sunday. I asked her to postpone her work to the evening, but she refused. She didn't want to disappoint her employer. I was upset - I was only going to see her until 2pm. She got upset too. She started crying. I hugged her and wiped her tears. "Everybody wants something from me. Everyday I have to give all of my time away, whether it's my parents telling me to do this and do that, whether it's Shachar (her employer) who asks me to come to work whenever he wants..." and sometimes it's me asking her to spend more time with me. "I don't even have time for myself, to read a book or watch TV." I couldn't believe I made her cry! It's the worst thing that could ever happen and the last thing I ever wanted. Nobody deserves her tears! She deserves so much more... :(

I feel that I love her and care about her so much, I want her to smile again and forget the very meaning of crying. I walked her home. We hugged and kissed. I told her I'll always be by her side. Even when I'm not around, my spirit will always be around whenever she needs me. I'll always support her and help her in any way that I can.

She walked towards the elevator and I walked out of the entrance door. As the door closed behind me, the time suddenly froze. I turned around to look at her once more and so did she... and although we've already said goodbye, at that exact moment there was something in her eyes that made my heart beat so fast, making me breathless. I ran back, entered the door code, opened it and ran as fast as I could, reaching out for her and holding her desprately in my arms. I kissed her passionately, perhaps a little too passionately because she banged her head on the wall. It was really funny.

That moment was so unforgettable. She told it to her dad, her dad told it to her grandma and her grandma then came to her later on and asked her absolutely seriously: what kind of boyfriend do you have that hits you like that, that bangs your head against the wall?

Geez, is all her family like that?

25th June, 2005

It's Saturday. We woke up early in the morning so we could go and spend some time at the beach before it gets too hot. I was at her neighborhood at 7am, waiting for her at the designated place.

7:10... 7:20... 7:30... where is she?! I headed up to her place and saw her and her mother come out of the elevator. She's always late because her parents ask her to do things all the time.

We were pedaling throughout the city on our way to the beach. Lucky we weren't that far from her home when I found out she didn't bring her swimsuit. She thought we weren't going to the beach after all. Sigh. Never mind. I can never ever be mad at her, no matter what she might do.

Driving around the city was fun. We found ourselves a nice shaded spot down at the beach. She didn't wanna go in the water because of her knee injury so we layed there on the beach and made out. After a short while I told her we should better stop, because people might be looking at us, but she assured me that there was no one who was paying attention to us.

After a while, when I was lying on top of her and kissing her, I could hear some old ladies mumbling: "look what they're doing in a public beach!" "shameless youth!" "if she were my niece, I would have choked her to death!" (Geez!) "Georgians would have stoned her for that kind of behavior!" "now she'll start stripping her clothes!" "there are more decent place for such things"

The old ladies wouldn't stop talking. They were right beside us and they didn't care if we heard them. In the end they asked us to stop. Ah, the hell with that!

Okay okay, I know that making out in the middle of a public beach isn't exactly appropriate, but it was, I'd say, quite a modest make-out. Besides, there are more polite ways to ask people not to do something.

They simply forgot what kind of things they were doing 50-60 years ago...

We went away, taking a walk across the beach. After eating at Burger Ranch, we headed to my place.

Some time later, her mother called her, asking her to watch a TV program about young teenagers who got pregnant. So we sat in the hall and watched it.

There was a 13 year old girl who has agreed to give away her already-born child to be raised by her mother. One girl was raped by her grandfather when she was 6. The odd thing about this, is that she got pregnant and the child died in the womb after a few weeks. The girl still doesn't know what exactly had happened to her. She cannot comprehend it.

Then the neglecting 'fathers' were interviewed. One kid said: "I don't wanna be a father. I have a future. A college to attend. What happened there is in the past now. She had pretty eyes, that I can tell."

It reminded me of what Natalie once told me... She said she met a guy named Oleg who had sex with a drunk girl and made her pregnant. She was so drunk that she doesn't remember anything and he didn't bother telling her about the incident because he doesn't want to bear the responsibility for that child.

This is so brutal! Irresponsible.

If I ever get Natalie pregnant, I'll take full responsibility for it. How can one ruin a girl's life like that? And it's not only a girl's life but a child's too...

Speaking of children. Me and Natalie have already thought about how we're gonna name our future children. Of course that's just out of fun. We don't plan to have any at least for the next... 5 years.

So children, if you read this, please don't be mad at us if we eventually named you differently or if you don't like those names, but here they are: Michelle, Chris, Lynn and Robin. Yeah, those are international names, because we both think you should live and grow up in a better place, or at least a more cultured one.

26th June, 2005

The sad feeling of an inevitable ending of this vacation grew stronger with each passing minute. Soldiers were walking around everywhere I looked. Argh.

I have one more day to spend time with her. I might as well do my best to enjoy it to the max.

We spent some time together until 2pm. Then we met again at 7pm in Wolfson park. There, sitting uphill we watched the sunset and kissed. After that we came to my place and the time just wouldn't slow down! At 1opm we had to part. We were standing on the road, waiting for her taxi. She'd begged me to stay and not go to the army. She was almost crying. I couldn't leave her, I couldn't stop holding her... I didn't want it to end again. But it had to be done eventually.

The taxi has arrived, but it was kind enough to wait until we finished kissing for one last time.. until we meet again.

When the cab left, she turned around and kept looking at me until I was out of sight. I stood there and looked back at her, watching her divine presence slowly fading away. I kept standing there for another minute. My eyes were wet from tears.

Till next time, my love. Until we meet again.