Good news and Bad news often come in pairs

21st September, 2004

I woke up at 6 a.m.
Angel's mother fetched me to the train station. I thanked her for hospitality and said goodbye.

I took the train to Nurnberg instead of a direct train to Frankfurt. This is because at 9 a.m. El-Al offices would open and I'd be able to find out about the flight. That way, if it's canceled, I'd spare myself 3-4 hours of drive and some Euros, considering the expensive train fares.

At 9 a.m. El-Al offices said that there most likely won't be any flights to Israel today and that I should call again in 2 hours.

Since I had 2 hours of free time, I decided I'd walk around and explore the city. I had to stop by at the restroom first...

The restroom at Nurnberg's train station is one of the most expensive restrooms I've ever been in. The entrance fee was 1.75 Euros. It's not that much money, but it is, if all you ever wanna do is take a leak! The restroom itself looks very modern in its style, but it's not like there are big screen TVs on the walls, or some strippers dancing on top of the water tanks!

But on a second thought, if you look at the restrooms of Tel Aviv's central bus station and think about the fact that you have to pay a shekel to enter such a filthy, nauseous place, you'll realize that it'd probably take a fortune to make it look decent again and maintain it on a daily basis.

I couldn't go too far from the train station as I'd been carrying my bags with me. Just outside the train station there was a beautiful view of the city. *Sigh* I wish I had a month or two to explore this whole country...

I bought myself some food, visited another Muller's shopping center and purchased some old music CDs which were surprisingly cheap. The time was 11 a.m. I called the office again and this time they've confirmed there won't be any flights to Israel today!!! Oh yes! Another day with Angel! :)

Angel... I wonder how you will react when you see me back... :)

I thought I could reach her apartment before she gets home from school and surprise her. I wrote a note in German: I love you, Angel! I'm BACK! :) I thought maybe I'll stick it to the entrance door (I couldn't enter the building or her apartment since I no longer had the key) and when she reads it, I'll sneak in behind her and hold her tight in my arms!

When I approached the entrance, I decided to ring first to see that she's not home yet. The door suddenly opened, somebody was at home... Nobody asked who I am in the intercom. They just opened the door for me. I started walking up the stairs and as I looked up, I saw Angel on the third floor, looking down at me... How will she react?

I expected nothing more than her joy and happiness, but what I got was the exact opposite of it. She had a disappointed face. To confirm her disappointment I heard her say: "Oh no."

I was shocked! I slowed down my tempo, not certain if I should keep on walking up the stairs.
Doesn't she want to see me? Could it be that she regrets meeting me in the first place? Maybe I should be her, if she doesn't want me to... These thoughts crossed my mind as I was walking up the stairs to meet her.

When I reached the 3rd floor, she explained to me the reasons for her disappointment: She went out of the house to check who's coming when the door to her apartment closed and locked her outside... again! She was barefoot, wearing her home clothes. I was glad at least to know that she was not disappointed to see me. Maybe I'd have reacted the same way, who knows...

Her mother has arrived a while later and opened the door. If there was someone who didn't seem happy to see me, it was her mother. She told me she's checked if there are flights to Israel and it appears that there are! She didn't believe me and thought it was irresponsible of me to stay in Germany with such an excuse. I told her I'm gonna call the offices of El-Al now and prove it to her, but my phone had stopped working for some reason. I felt unwelcome.

A while later, her mother came to me and said that she's checked again and that I was right, there are no flights to Israel. She suggested that I take a train to the airport, stay there and wait for a flight home, because it might take me 4-6 hours just to get to Frankfurt.

My mother suggested me that if I happen to have a trouble and/or need a place to stay, I could take a train to Bonn where my cousin lives.

I told Angel that I can go to Bonn and stay at my cousin's place in case there's a problem of me staying here for a night. Angel asked her mom about it and her mother had extended her hospitality for another day. :)

During the evening, I helped Angel with Math homework. I have to admit, it shocks me every time whenever she tells me about her exam results. I've no doubt that she can do much better. She has a potential to be an excellent student, I know it!

I'd barely spent any time with her this day. She's been doing homework, talking on the phone for hours (while I was next to her, looking at her with sad eyes, wishing she would hang up just so I could kiss her one more time and spend another minute with her in my arms) and watching a TV series with her mother before going to bed. I was alone in her room watching the movie "Sunshine" on DVD. For most of this day I'd been thinking about the huge differences between us.

She is everything to me! I was seriously considering staying here, preferring her over my family and friends. I spent a lot of money just to be with her for a week, bought her a lot of presents just to see her smiling at me. She matters to me more than anything! I feel like no one really cares about me and my feelings but her. Is that really so? Does she really care? Are our feelings as mutual as I believed them to be?

I should contain my disappointment and enjoy the last hours of my stay. I'm not willing to give up. I spent a year and a half dreaming about an ideal relationship and I love her way too much to let her go. Do we love each other equally? I seriously doubt it. All I've left is to hope that what she said is true - that deep down inside she has feelings that she doesn't show to people, and that one of those feelings... is a strong love towards me.