Some things get worse, others get better

18th October, 2005

A 17 year old girl was raped by her own boyfriend and his 4 friends for hours in an apartment in Givataim (part of the bigger Tel Aviv). The girl was drunk.

Her boyfriend, who'd been dating her for 6 months, decided to do something special for his friends that day - share his girlfriend with them. How sick is that?

Then I saw the picture in the newspaper where they'd met and immediately recognized the place. It was my neighborhood!

The guys are 25-28 year olds. She's only 17. Their names rang no bells.

19th October, 2005

I was talking to my friends in the army about the importance of keeping distance between boys and girls in the army. Coincidentally, they told me a secret which I promised to keep from other soldiers in the battery.

Half a year ago there were no female soldiers in our battery. A few months ago 2 girls joined us: Ravit, a female commander, and Daniela, a secretary, responsible mostly for... decorating the battery. She's finished her service a month ago, but now stories about her begin to surface.

One of the soldiers in the battery, Gil, is her boyfriend. They've had sex at the base. He'd tell his friends about this. Some saw him leaving the girls room at 5 am. (Ravit was at home during those days, Daniela was alone in the girls dormitory)

A few days ago she was brought back to the base for questioning, but was released with no charges due to lack of evidence. Yes, it's considered to be a serious offense in the army. If caught, soldiers are sent to jail for a few weeks, if I'm not mistaken.

Now.. the thing is, she also slept with Ido, a guy from my team. Ido?! That short little pervert who talks about his friends behind their backs, he's the one guy who's best at mocking people. He has a sharp tongue. Not once had it pissed me off, especially when he'd joke about Angel.

I didn't expect that from Daniela. She doesn't look like she would do such things.

A few Russian soldiers in our battery were caught when a few bottles with alcohol were discovered in one of the rooms. 2 of those guys were sent to jail for 15 days. The other one, the oldest one in the battery who was going to be released from the army next month, received 28 days of detention at the base. Apparently he was held responsible for that 'party' the other night.
The Ethiopian cook used to hide bottles of wine and give it to them to drink on Saturdays.

20th October, 2005

It's been days since I've received any messages from Angel. I wrote her a few times, but didn't get any replies.

Natalie, on the other hand, called me again. It ended in another fight. "Don't let your ego rise too high. Don't think that you're a perfect human being with superior beauty and intelligence."

"I am. It's a fact that guys try hard to get me and be with me. I'm wanted."

"Oh yeah? Then how come I didn't have to move a finger to get you? How come the only 2 guys that you loved have dumped you? Think about it. Ask yourself why."

"You and Amir were stupid enough to do it."

When you don't see a person that you have feelings for, you tend to forget all the negative experiences that you've had with him. Therefore, you begin to miss him, you remember the good times and wish you could meet again... and when you do, those fights eventually repeat themselves and you are reminded again of the negative side of your relationship. It goes on and on, until one day you decide to end it, once and for all. You can't ride the roller coaster forever.

Goodbye Natalie. You could've been everything for me. Not anymore.

21st October, 2005

This morning I received a message. It was from Angel!

"Hi Dearest! Man, I wanna be with you now! My endlessly shining star, the only light if I'd be sad. I miss you so incredibly much! I'm longing for the day we'll be together again!"

This message has unleashed all those feelings which I held back for a long time now. It made me wanna jump and scream: "ANGEL, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!"

23rd October, 2005

"If the day has come when everything is over and we're together, I'll be the happiest girl in the world. Just to think of you makes me happy! I love you more than anything!"

24th October, 2005

"Hi Dearest! Just had to think about you and wanted to say that I love you :) Looking forward to our future. *kiss*"

30th October, 2005

Angel:

The day that I've met you, I've opened my eyes
Everything changed since you've come into my life
Different emotions, I didn't have before
I'll never go my way alone anymore

So stay by my side, let's go for a ride
To distant places high up in the sky
My love's so true, it's stronger than I knew
Give me your hand, I'll always follow you!

2nd November, 2005

The situation is deteriorating. The battery is losing its will to go on in such poor conditions.
Ever since Ehud replaced Gil as our new battery commander, people started losing motivation.

Less days at home, more intensive training, punishments are more severe, there are now classes and exams that we have to take. From now on, we must walk with our weapons loaded, increasing the risk of releasing a bullet by mistake.

Even the commanders dislike Ehud. He doesn't seem to care. Military readiness is his 1st priority. It might also be his only priority.

I called Angel and talked with her for 20 minutes. Oh, it was soooo great! I'm looking forward to chatting with her.

She currently hangs out with a 20 year old guy, she told me. But they only talk. She even pays for her drinks by herself.

It appears that she didn't write that poetry by herself, but she feels every word of it. She said she'll always love me and no one else. I feel the same.

Even in such a bad period, her words make me happy! She missed her favorite TV series "The O.C." just to talk to me. I'm so happy! :)

Nobody has ever respected me that much. She's never said a bad word about me, she's never argued with me about anything. It's amazing that such people exist in this world. I wish everyone could find their soul mates like I did. It's something worth living for. She's definitely worth dying for.

Angel... I'll be damned if I ever hurt you!

3th November, 2005

We are now on high alert. Intelligence reports indicate that Hezbollah is planning to launch a strike anytime soon.

That means the following for us:
Teams don't go home. Everyone wakes up early in the morning. Nobody sleeps in the dorms, but outside the howitzers, ready for immediate response.

4th November, 2005

2 teams were finally released home. 18 days in the army is a long time.
We were ordered not to talk with our friends and family about everything that's going on here at the moment. Hezbollah might be listening to our conversations.

At noon, the operation began: Just a few minutes ago, we were confident that nothing was going to happen, but there we were, directing intensive fire towards southern Lebanon!

After 4 months of silence, the sky rained thunder, a noise that planted confusion both in the Israeli and Lebanese towns in the region.

We fired about 40-50 shells very rapidly. I prayed to God we didn't kill or injure any innocents. We are being told of the results, but you can't tell how accurate they are. You'll never know if you did something terrible. This is why I wished I wouldn't have to serve here, but there I was.

Lebanese news reported fire exchange between the Israeli army and Hezbollah, which is untrue.

Israeli news reported IDF's denial of those claims. IDF said it was only military training and a warning shot to Hezbollah in order to foil any future attempt of Hezbollah to carry out attacks on Israel.

According to IDF, the shells landed in Israeli territory. Have they? I doubt but sure hope so.

5th November, 2005

One of the teams was called back to the base at night. They were release home yesterday and now they were called back to the base. Poor guys! So unfair...

Today we've had some training. By the time that we finished, a car arrived to our base. It was channel 2 news! They asked us to do keep training so they could shoot us on camera.

In the evening we all anxiously waited for the news to start. They showed us in an article about the escalation in the north. Some guys were shown distinctively, I was only shown a couple of times barely recognizable.

That's the second time I'm on the news. Hehe. But bah, that doesn't count really.