Good thoughts of eternal happiness

12th July, 2004

On thursday I'll finally be home! Wohoo!

This evening me and my team are moving to our battalion's headquarters, near Telem. We'll guard there and have some practice at a shooting range.

I look at the pictures of my Angel. Oh! The more I look at her, the more amazing, beautiful and special she seems to me. I'm so happy and proud to be her boyfriend!!! O:) I love her soooooooooooooooo much!!!

I wrote a few love messages (SMS) to her and I always think about her! I also wrote 2 songs which are dedicated to her, I just hope I'll remember their melodies until I come home.

(Now that I read my diary entries, I don't seem to remember any such melodies. I guess I haven't managed to remember them after all)

13th July, 2004

Oh it's so great here! :) For each 4 hours that we guard we get 8 hours of rest (well, most of the time it's more like 6, but it's still better!) There's a cafetery where we can buy some cold drinks. We can finally sleep without the uniform, we can take a bath every night!

Yesterday, my Angel e-mailed me a long, cool letter. Oh man, she's soooo amazing! Can't find the word to describe this!

I'm looking at her photos and imagine her with me. Even imagining her is enough to make my breathing harder. I can't imagine how great I'll feel when I be with her. I can't wait for it anymore, I wanna meet her! Argh!

I don't know what I would have done without her. How I would have survived the basic and advanced training of my military service. She was the only thing that made me strong during those hard days. I can't imagine how great my life will be when I finish my military service. I'll travel all over the world with my Angel and then, one day, I will marry her! Oh, Angel... :)


15th July, 2004

We went home quite early, around 11:30a.m. after we spent time practicing at a shooting range, some shooting and positioning exercises. The officer said that we'll have a charity day on our next home release. That means that the army takes a day from our holiday in order to use us as soldiers for various charity events to make IDF look good in the eyes of the Israeli public. I'd be glad to help people, but not when it's obligatory and not during the few days per month that I get to be home. *sigh* I just hope it won't take much time.

Girls, girls, girls

9th July, 2004

There were 4 fence alarms today, the highest number so far.

I had a patrol today with Yoav. He wanted us to sit next to the synagogue, where he can see the basketball field - the place where that girl is doing jogging at nights. He told me he saw another girl of our age, a blond one: "But she's ugly and not worthy of a d**k. But I hope that this one will turn out to be hot." ...yet girls are attracted to him. They most likely don't know that to him they're just sex objects.

Word got out that the previous team of soldiers, who were replaced by Egoz a few weeks ago (The Egoz team has been replaced by a Golani team a few days ago), were invited by her to her house. During a patrol, two guys accepted her invitation and spent time with her at the house. One of them wanted to get into bed with her, but she told him he's too young, that if he'd been a bit older perhaps she would've slept with him.

For some reason, girls like that make me sad. Girls who'd sleep with strangers just for fun. They may do whatever makes them happy, but I think it's kind of cheap. Same for guys - guys who'd sleep with any girl that'd want them are cheap. But I don't care, I have my Angel. She's the most incredible girl in the world. Sex has never been my primary goal. Love has always been more important to me.

* * * * *

The girl went jogging in the field and walked past us during our patrol. Finally we saw her face. She wasn't pretty to my taste, she was around 20 and taller than me, I think. Even the Golani guys talk about her and about a few other girls they've seen around. There are only about 30 families living in Adora and some of the soldiers here, if not all of them, are desperate to get laid. Maybe I'd have been like them if I didn't have my Angel. Even though I've never met her yet, with her I feel like I could live without sex for a hundred years. I'll hold on to her forever!! Because I know I'll never find anyone like her, ever!

I received an e-mail from her, but I've problems opening it on my phone. My mom opened it at home and read it to me on the phone: Angel says her mom plans to go to Florida next year, that would be great for her family and maybe even for the two of us! She wrote that her mom wouldn't let her fly to Israel even if I have a webcam chat with her, and she may not have Internet next friday, when I'll be home - that means I won't be able to talk to her for the next 25 days!!! She can't call me, she can barely send me 1 sms per day. She also said that her mom won't let her fly to Israel even if I fly to Germany first and meet her. I'm so sad... I need to call her.

Usually, after I talk to her I become happy because she's so great!!! Her voice is so magical... I'm gonna call her. Sorry I'm just too depressed to write right now... :(

* * * * *

We talked for 20 minutes. She said she'll talk to her mom and ask her if she would let us travel alone around Germany. Things are really going bad right now, but we'll never give up. Nothing will keep us away! The strength of our love will eventually beat the time and distance obstacles.

A new threat

8th July, 2004

Somebody called the police of Kiryat-Gat and warned of an impending attack of Palestinian militants on one of the two settlements that my battery is protecting - Adora and Telem.

The battery commander decided to set an ambush in the eastern part, just outside of Adora. A hummer would patrol the south-western part of Adora and tempt the militants to go straight to the ambush.

While training prior to the mission, Telem's patrol announced on the radio that they've discovered a hole in the fence. 3 soldiers from Adora and the battery commander jumped in a jeep and drove to Telem (500 meters of distance) as reinforcements. The rest of us stayed in Adora.

When they checked the hole, it was false alarm - the hole was there all along.

Meanwhile, me, my commander and another soldier - we set an ambush. It was like hell, lying on spiky bushes while all your body hurts. Thank God it was only 2 hours!

During this day there were also 3 automatic fence alerts that we had to check. Nothing special. Probably birds again.

Make this world a better place

7th July, 2004

An 18 year old girl crossed the street. After checking her out, Ido said: "Nah, she's too ugly to f**k". What an asshole. There's something else about him that I dislike... He earns respect from everyone for being so cool with his carefree behavior but he himself doesn't seem to respect anybody.

He'd engage in negative gossip about everyone with anyone. Can someone like that be a real friend? Talking behind people's backs, criticizing your friends, being two-faced.

I know sometimes it's hard not to criticize people, but we should do our best, especially when it comes to our friends. If we value our friends and they're important to us, we should show at least a little bit of respect.

One more thing I dislike about many soldiers in my battery: Their total indifference when it comes to all kinds of things. Examples: Washing the dishes the way that only half of them become clean, littering everywhere, even if there's a trash can 5 feet away, peeing on the toilet cover, throwing torn newspapers and toilet paper on the floor, leaving dishes at the table as if in a restaurant. Why? Bad home education?

Eventually you have to clean up after them. We have to clean twice every day and it'd have been much easier had they not been so careless. Sometimes I'd clean up after others just because I like it when it's all clean. Even in the streets of the settlement or anywhere else where I might be. Doesn't the world look better when it's clean? Don't people care about the nature? I wish more people did. It could be a very beautiful world if it were all clean.

My officer told me that I'm putting more effort than others, that I'm a very good and disciplined soldier and that if I keep up like that, I may be "promoted" and receive a job at the battery (better service conditions - no cleaning up, be released home more often, have my own room where I could watch TV etc.)

I hate flattering myself. I like to be good and to be recognized as a good person but it should come from a man's deeds, not his words. But since it's a diary, I guess I can afford that. If there's bad things to write about myself, I will, that is if I notice them.

My Angel doesn't know much about my service. She never really asks and it might not interest her. Sometimes I'd say a thing or two, but she wouldn't show much interest. Maybe it's better for her not to know these things. I know her since my last grade in high school so she doesn't really see me as a soldier, I think. It doesn't matter, though. I hope that she loves me for who I am. I know I love her for who she is and that's true love! Her love for me is true too and that's the only thing that matters to me!

Sometimes she's so incredible, especially when she shows me how much she loves me and how far she'd be willing to go to be with me. She is amazing and she makes me feel over and over again that I have the B-E-S-T girlfriend in the whole world!!!

During my patrol I came up with a movie scenario. Two best friends - An Israeli and a Palestinian grew up together in a village (where Israelis and Palestinians used to live together). After several years, a separation wall was built in the middle of the village, splitting it into two parts - one being Israeli and one Palestinian. The wall also separated the best friends and from then on they weren't allowed to see each other. As time passed, they became more involved in politics. The Israeli guy joined the army, the Palestinian guy struggled to find work and practically help his family stand on their feet. He eventually joins Hamas and gets paid well for his skills in engineering, producing explosives and wiring for them. The two meet again when the Israeli guy enters Nablus while on a military operation. His mission is to raid the building in which the weapons lab is located and arrest everyone in the building for suspicion in being connected to Hamas.

Well, I have to work much more on this story. The story begins as the Israeli guy, being the narrator tells us the story while sitting in prison. He's a different person. He learned the true meaning of hatred. The story ends as the Israeli guy is released from prison, walking on the road, carrying a Palestinian child on his shoulders, his best friend's son. I leave the rest for your imagination. This story, once completed, can shock the whole world with its strong message. If I ever manage to deliver this message to the world, it would be a dream come true, it may make the world slightly a better place, which is probably more than I could ever achieve in my life, unless of course I get to publish my music. (http://www.soundclick.com/skylite)

Thank you, visitor, for reading my blog. I wish you, whoever you are, a good day and much much happiness in your life. And no, I'm not on drugs in case you were wondering. :) There's a still a lot of things to post. But for now I'm gonna call it a night. I'll see you soon.